The Drinkards

Fall?

2011-10-23T15:49:00.000-07:00

Wow, so hard to believe we're approaching November! How quickly I forgot what "fall" in Texas feels like: aka Summer Part 2. :) But actually, being a fan of warmer weather, it's not too bad. Highs in the 80's/low 90's makes very decent weather for getting our lives done day in and day out. We did have a couple mornings where the kids needed a light jacket and they instantly asked if it it was going to snow. My little Midwestern babies. :)

We are truckin' along doing life in San Antonio. Very busy with three kids at school and at all different times. I feel a strong urge to paint my minivan yellow and get a little light on the top that says Taxi. But it's part of my job and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Each kid is flourishing at his/her respective place of education and that is always a relief.

The ongoing arc of our lives continues to be Cole's health (last week I was convinced he had diabetes). The doctors feel fine to wait it out and see how/if he grows, but it's hard for this mama to see him so small. Something doesn't feel right but I know better than to trust my feelings.

I am loving Pinterest and all the inspiration it brings (if only it magically granted free time along with that inspiration). I spent a few hours this weekend making this pillow after seeing a similar concept online.

We are not overly India here - Mark and I didn't have a connection to it before adopting Cole and don't incorporate traditions to our family or anything. But of course it is special to us being the birthplace of our youngest and I thought it would be appropriate to have a subtle reminder of where he came from.

We recently did the traditional visit to the pumpkin patch (and got majorly ripped off in the process but trust me, that's not worth getting into). The kids got to pick one activity to do and the boys chose the bounce house and Lucy chose the petting zoo. Then we went to the grocery store to get our pumpkins for 70% cheaper than what the patch was charging. That felt good.

We are thankful for our time here even on hard days when we miss home so very much. We are really looking forward to visiting St Louis for Thanksgiving and the upcoming holiday season. Mark and I are learning a lot about decision making and consequences and really trying to seek God and His plan for our lives. It is encouraging to know and be reminded that He cares and wants the best for us, even when we get in the way. Now if we could only agree on sports teams than our marriage would be picture perfect (Go Rangers!)

ly looking forward to a trip to St L

Unexpected Blessings

2011-08-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

Today was Day Three of 2nd grade for Lucy and early morning/routine for the rest of us. Wow - what an adjustment but honestly, it's one that is very welcome. We are out the door at 7:30 to drop her off, home to do chores and then by 8:30, Cole is asking for lunch. :) We get done with our chores and errands so early in the day now, it feels weird to eat lunch at 11 and have naps by 12. But we are so much more productive and I am loving that!

Each school day brings home a better report from my girl and I feel confident that in no time she will love it as much as she did Oak Brook. She is not a morning person and not one for change (but then again, who is?) so it wasn't a huge shock that she would be so prickly after the first couple of days.

Yesterday we got home and saw a little girl and her mom going into the next door house. We knew people had just moved in last week but hadn't a chance to go over there yet. Lucy said right away, "I think she is in my class!' Sure enough, we knocked on the door and now Lucy has a built in playmate. In fact, she is over here now and I am enjoying hearing giggles come from her room while they play.

The boys and I went up to the elementary school today to see about special ed testing. After a preliminary meeting, it was determined that Nate would not qualify for speech (although the teacher wanted him to after spending time with my sweet boy). Cole will go back for further testing next week but I have to say, I was so impressed with everything. The teachers, the classrooms, their efficiency (not what I was expecting at all). We'll see how it progresses but I'm very excited my little one could really get some needs met and soon!

We have celebrated all these fun surprises with a few trips to Happy Hour at Sonic for some 50 cent slushies (which also really help us deal with the miserable heat). I didn't expect God to bless us in such a way while we were living here and am thankful He has. I love how He is so faithful to remind us in small ways how much He cares.

Winding Down

2011-08-17T06:55:00.000-07:00

We have less than a week til the end of summer vacation...can't believe my oldest is about to start 2nd grade at yet another new school! She is so excited and has had her first 5 days of outfits picked out for a while now. I'm trying not to be too nervous for her having to be the new kid again.

I am sad about her being gone (she is such a mama's helper) but looking forward to having a routine. She asked very politely if she could be a car rider instead of taking the bus which I am happy to do for her. Of course it will be extra work to get the boys ready to get out the door at 7:30 every morning but it will get us up and going and on our way!

Nate will start pre-k after Labor Day and it will be his first experience to be gone all day! Last year, his preschool was mornings only. He got a brand new superheros lunch box and is really looking forward to it. It helps that the pre-k is also at our church - should be a lot of familiar faces!

We have started the referral process for both boys to be tested for early childhood special ed but with the busyness of back to school, I'm sure it will be a while before either gets services. (Nate was recommended for speech. I have mixed feelings about it because I think the way he talks is adorable. "Tole" for Cole, etc. But I guess it's a part of growing up!)

Cole's new mantra is "I still hun-dry" aka I'm still hungry! Seriously, this peanut wants to eat all day long lately. Still no growth to show for it so we will see what the endocrinologist has to say in a few weeks. He even asks at bedtime, "I get breakfast after night-nights?" And of course I tell him "yes" to which he responds by throwing his hands in the air and shouting "Yay!!!!!" like I've just told him we're going to Disneyworld or something. Funny kid.

We had some fun visits to break up our monotonous long days. Jennifer and her girls came for a day (they live about 2 hours away) and we had a blast. Jennifer and I were college roommates at A&M for the spring semester of our sophomore year and then the last semester there while we were both student teaching (boy, did we share some stories then!) I will always remember that she was the one who woke me in the middle of the night to tell me that Bonfire fell and some students had died.

Here are our kiddos at Chick-fil-a!

We also got a visit from another college friend, Amanda, and her sweet family. Amanda was my best friend at A&M and also great friends with Mark, too. It's always so much fun to hang out again - like no time has passed. She has a sweet 2 year old and is expecting a baby girl in a few months.

We were so grateful to have visitors especially since we still don't have a couch and had to sit and visit on hard dining chairs. Speaking of dining chairs, I just sold our perfectly good set and bought some old, rickety antique ones to refinish. Having major regrets right now but hopefully they will hold up. Here is my inspiration although my color palette is not as bright:

We also got another visit in to see my parents who took us to the new Sea Life Aquarium. The rest of our time there was spent in the swimming pool where all three of my children turned into fish!

Lots of visits and time with Grandma and Grandpa and the kids are looking forward to another sleepover at their house this weekend (which means date night for Mark & I)!

Soaking up our lazy days but also grateful for upcoming events on the calendar. A time for everything!

Pictures!

2011-07-12T07:55:00.001-07:00

Cole gets kisses from Tessa Puppy at Nan & Pops house (he loved it!)
Nate & Ford - transformer lovin' cousins

Nate's 4th birthday! Lots of cousins and friends!
Pops and the birthday boy

More birthday fun

Paige, Alyssa, Lucy

Grandma and Grandpa took us to see Cars 2

Nate's mohawk (lasted about 30 seconds)

Evidence of how well my kids are playing together this summer :)

Nate & Maddux at the Alamo

Lucy, Cole and Graci at the Alamo

Younce and Drinkard kids at the Riverwalk

Checking in

2011-07-05T14:44:00.000-07:00

We are still alive down here in south central Texas though we don't venture out much since it's so very hot outside! It's hard to believe it's July and summer break is flying by. We are now in our own rental home and slowly getting settled. The boxes are unpacked but we are without a couch and a TV so still feels a little strange! (We do have a small tv but don't get any channels but the CW so feels like there is none.) The house is VERY beige which makes our decorations look different, too. Overall though, it just doesn't quite feel like home. I think it's due to the absence of our dear friends in Missouri who so often were in and out of our home there. (In fact, Lucy keeps reminding me: "Mom, we have NO friends here!").
Not to dwell on what is lacking though - we have been blessed by having two amazing visits from our St Louis "family" friends. The Elliotts came in May and we had a blast eating at favorite restaurants, going to Schlitterbahn waterpark, sightseeing in San Antonio and more. Then Jessica and her kids came in June and although we didn't get to "do" as much, it was still so very fun. She was a huge help in making this place more bearable though it was painful to watch her leave.
Also, to update on the continual concerns we have with child #3...Cole had his three year checkup and the doctor had a bone age scan done due to his lack of growth (no gain in weight or inches in at least 6 months). Well, that turned out to be fruitful as the x-ray shows his bone age (2 years) does not match his chronological age (3 years). There are several reasons why this could be including a diagnosis of "Failure to Thrive" which he had as an infant. We are headed (again) to the pediatric endocrinologist in hopes of some answers and some encouragement. The older he gets, the more awkward it can be for him to be so far behind... Hopeful that this time down here might be just for Cole's advantage and growth!
Another positive note, we have found a church home. Parkhills Baptist is a 9Marks church and we are thankful to be in a place that preaches God's word unashamedly and hope to get plugged in and make some friends soon. I'm hopeful to spread the word and cause of Sparrow Ministries, especially since we are giving adoption grants nation-wide now!
Finally, we continue to battle the IR$ concerning our adoption refund. We have been "communicating" with them since we first filed in February and finally got notice this weekend that they are denying us our refund (a huge chunk of money that we had foolishly counted on to have for moving expenses - thus, the reason for no couch yet). They continue to say they are lacking one document even though we have faxed it 3 separate times since April and this is the 2nd year for us to claim this refund, meaning they have already approved it once before! Sent off our appeal today by faxing documents twice and mailing a hard copy as well. I'm tempted to put my Indian child in the car and drive across the country to their office if they really want proof of our adoption! It's a frustrating experience, no doubt, but hopefully one that will result in our favor.
Sorry for the wordiness and no pictures. Somehow I can not find my camera cord even though all the boxes are unpacked! :)

Three

2011-06-18T10:35:00.000-07:00

Cole turned 3 years old last week! He was so excited to have his own birthday and wanted nothing more than to go to McDonald's to celebrate. In fact, for weeks ahead of time, he would repeat over and over and over again "McDonald's on my birthday!"

He is currently obsessed with all things Cars related and has yet to part with his new Mack truck which holds the precious Lightning McQueen car.
We just moved to a new school district so we'll have to wait until August to see what kinds of therapies he qualifies for. I have to doubt that speech will be one as he is a non stop chatterbox these days! Lately he is very adament in pointing to and telling others who the members of his family are: "Mama, that's my brother." or "Daddy, that's my mama." Silly, silly boy.

We are starting to talk more about his heritage and where he came from. Nate, who is now 4, is really starting to grasp it more. We looked through pictures from India on his recent Gotcha Day and birthday, too.

Cole was a little disappointed he didn't turn 4 like his brother but in the end, he's a happy 3 year old boy (who is out of diapers, too, by the way - woo hoo!!)

2 years!

2011-06-08T06:56:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today we were introduced to our little peanut.

It still amazes me that these wonderful ladies handed him to us and called us Mom and Dad.

It has been two years like I never would have expected. Hard, challenging times filled with doubts, wonder and a love that can only come from the Creator Himself. Two years that I wouldn't change for anything!

I love you, Cole Debjit, my child, my son.

Four

2011-05-26T09:01:00.000-07:00

Nate turned 4 yesterday! I can't believe it (although he has looked like a 4 year old for quite some time). We had a low key day with a family party planned for the upcoming weekend. This boy is a DELIGHT to be around and a joyful addition to our family. He makes us laugh all the time. He is thrilled to be getting bigger yet is still so kind and playful with little brother. He loves superheroes, star wars, playing good guys and bad guys, watching Robin Hood (Disney edition) and Batman. He is all boy and we wouldn't have it any other way. He is my reminder that God's ways are best as I think of the huge blessing I would have missed if Nate was the girl I hoped for, instead of the boy I needed!

4 donuts for breakfast
Spiderman bike

Dinner at McD's (Cole is on playground)

Time at park

Life as we know it

2011-05-01T16:47:00.000-07:00

We've been in Texas for almost 2 months! Here are some pictures highlighting our lives here so far.

Trip to Disney. Cole was a little excited about meeting Buzz Lightyear.

Lucy is taking horse back riding lessons

Our attempt at an Easter photo

It didn't work...

The boys and I make lots of trips to the playground at Chick-fil-a or Burger King to pass the time and play. This was on my 34th birthday.

San Antonio Missions baseball game fun

Cole's first "face" paint on his arm...Batman

Beautiful girl

The Danger of Hope

2011-04-07T10:56:00.000-07:00

Hope can be a dangerous virtue...when it is misplaced, of course. When we put our hope in the wrong things, it can turn into discontentment, bitterness, regret, worry and all other kinds of consuming sin.

I recently had the opportunity to speak about a lesson I learned about misplaced hope, mostly regarding the trials we endured after Cole came home and how the Lord used that to reveal my own shortcomings to myself. Little did I know, I would need those words from Him once again. I have a feeling it is a lesson I will endure many times in my life.

We have been in Texas for about a month. We are very, very blessed. The Lord has been good and faithful to us. He provides. He is here.

And yet, I have allowed myself to focus on the have-nots instead of the haves. I have fallen into a pattern of seeing the glass half-empty instead of half-full or even pouring over the edges. I have lost perspective of the big picture and have thus, misplaced my hope.

Romans 5:5 tells us that hope does not disappoint. Yet I have hoped and hoped and have been nothing but disappointed. Obviously, my hope has been in the wrong things. In earthly things, in circumstances, in the temporary. So what is this hope that doesn't disappoint?

In desperation, I search the Word to be reminded and find it in 1 Corinthians 1:9-10. "Indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and He will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope." Our hope is eternal, in The Eternal, in salvation that comes only from Him and through Him. He is the only One who can save us from so great a peril of death and He alone is worthy of my hope. His purposes are much, much bigger than my circumstances and His expectations of me are not lessened because I am uncomfortable, sad or disappointed. The thing about God is that He is always worthy, always good, always holy. And as a new creature, as a believer in Him and a servant to His Spirit, I am without excuse. I must not put my hope anywhere else but in Him.

I should have picked a different word...

2011-02-20T13:04:00.001-08:00

Just reading back to my first and only post of 2011 and pondering my choice to focus on contentment. I should have known that the Lord would use that to stretch and challenge me in a new, unexpected way.
We just found out late last week that we are moving. Back to Texas. Mark got a wonderful job at an amazing company and we will have the opportunity to be close to his parents. So close in fact they are letting our zoo invade their wonderful home until our house sells.
I should have chosen the word bittersweet. It is a sweet opportunity before us, to give our kids time with their grandparents, for Mark to take more seminary classes, for us to take advantage of the Texas economy and save, save, save.
It is bitter because we are leaving our home. Yes, we have only lived here 3 1/2 years but the depth of our time and experiences go way beyond that. We were richly blessed with an amazing church, the best of friends and a thousand opportunities to serve the kingdom. It is hard to say goodbye to that, no matter how sweet the other end will be. Very, very hard.
In the short time I've had to let this sink in, I'm reminded that no matter how wonderful our lives were here, they're nothing like they will be in heaven. This life is temporary with a capital T, we are vapors in the wind. Our eyes should continually be on the eternal, the promised home of heaven.
So my lesson in contentment is to not get too content. To not hold too tightly to things and comforts that will pass away. The relationships we've made will go with us and I hope, hope, hope, we will be able to continue to nourish and grow those friendships despite the distance. And no matter what, the Lord is good and He goes with us.
Looking again to Psalm 16:9, "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."

Content

2011-01-04T09:18:00.000-08:00

Content. My word for 2011. From dictionary.com, it is defined as "satisfied with what one is or has, not wanting more or anything else."

Is that a New Year's challenge or what? :)

I want to be content with my family. We have decided not to pursue foster adoption this year after all but still have the desire in our hearts. It was very disappointing to come to this decision but He is faithful to bring peace when we were willing to accept. So now, contentment will be 1)trusting God's timing for our family through it all and 2) being satisfied with where we are now and not worrying about where we might be someday.

I want to be content with my circumstances. With no major life altering events immediately ahead (none that we can see, only God knows), I feel a calm about the next 12 months. And a desire to make each day count, to be a better steward of my day to day responsibilities and relationships. And if a major life altering event does show up, I feel ready to take it on.

I want to be content in serving others. I want to look for more behind the scenes service opportunities, satisfied in obedience, not wanting more in return.

Clinging to this verse as I strive for contentment: Proverbs 16:9 "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."

Going Forward

2010-12-19T17:28:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! It's our first Christmas to stay home alone and we certainly have mixed feelings about that. So, trying to make some traditions for ourselves, we baked Christmas cookies a few weekends ago.

Our first batch of dough was too crumbly

Time to decorate

Looking for crumbs

Looking forward to 2011, we have decided to get licensed to potentially adopt from Missouri foster care. We just turned in our first application and will hopefully be chosen by an agency and then start classes in February. Trying to have a more laidback attitude this time, understanding it may or may not work out and trusting that God has a plan!

Hope everyone has a safe and blessed holiday!

Worthy of Praise

2010-11-16T11:31:00.001-08:00

The Lord is so good. Things are really turning around here and hope is visible and even reachable. I am so undeserving. He is faithful to encourage, to lift up and to bless.

Cole started Therapeutic Listening Therapy a week ago. The first day he used a spoon all by himself. After a week, he has been adding new words to his vocabulary, been all around more pleasant and compliant (the time out chair must be wondering where he has been!), eating more foods and getting along better with others. Praise be to God.

Our Orphan Care Ministry had our enormous fundraiser this past weekend. The Holiday Gift Market was basically a craft show full of donations from friends and church members and stuff we had made. It was a huge success. More than we could have imagined or prayed for. $4650 huge. I would ask y'all to consider shopping online for Christmas but we are pretty much cleaned out of items!

We were so encouraged to see the Lord's faithfulness to bring people to the show and to bring people to help us in our efforts as ministry can sometimes be a very discouraging thing. Four of us stayed up until 4 am the night before (getting way too old for that kind of thing), got up at 6:30am and then worked the event until 3pm the next day. But it was fun. Good, hard working, ministry fun.

And now we have doubled our account at the church and have almost $10,000 available to offer financial assistance for adoption to families in our church . I've really been praying for families to come forward. But we are trusting in God for that. We are also looking at other ways to use the money - to support orphans locally and overseas. The greatest disservice would be for that money to sit in the bank when there are needs right and left.

Finally, we were so humbled to have a friend of a friend come to us and offer an incredible partnership. Caroline Nelson is an amazing photographer and has started a business to help save for a future adoption for her family. In the meantime, she has committed to donating to our ministry a portion of her income each month. Wow. Please check out her website here.

Looking forward to the holidays, time with family and friends and reflecting on all God has done and continues to do for us.

Gaining Perspective

2010-11-01T08:57:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all your encouraging comments and emails. I feel a little silly for being so dramatic and woe-is-me but as I said, I write to get it out of my system. After several days to let everything sink in, to do research and to have a break (Mark's parents came for the weekend), I am looking at things with a wider angle, gaining perspective.
The fact is there are simple things we can do to change our routine and help Cole and in the big picture of life, those things are not that big a deal. I think so much of my problem was my misguided expectations of what adoption would look like in my family and how I thought things would be as time went on. I don't know if there was training or awareness for sensory issues before we brought Cole home, but even if there were, I'm sure I would have tuned it out, assuming it wouldn't be an issue for us.
I confess I have been a hypocrite for many months, advocating adoption, working hard to change attitudes about orphan awareness, and not living it out in my own home, my own family, with my own adopted child.
I was listening to the song below yesterday (the same song we used in our initial Orphan Care video at church last spring) and felt as though the first verse was not some generic orphan out there looking for a family, but my own child, Cole, asking me if I was willing to love him the way he is, even if that wouldn't change in the future. Begging forgiveness from the Lord, I hope now He can use me more effectively for His kingdom work in this area. I apologize to anyone I have misled or deceived up to this point.

Challenges

2010-10-27T12:12:00.001-07:00

Continuing with using this blog as an outlet for therapy (not being in the midst of an adoption or other exciting life events doesn't leave much worry for many readers and therefore, worrying about offending them), I have to "talk" about the recent challenges we're facing.
We've been doing therapy (speech and occupational) with Cole since June. It's exhausting. I wear many hats as a wife, mom and homemaker but therapist is a new one and it's not one I'm good at. The First Steps intervention program here in Missouri brings the therapists to your home and then parent and therapist work together for an hour each week. It is a stressful time here. I dread it on the days we have it. I love the days we don't.
As a former teacher who saw kids slapped with labels left and right, my tendency is to be skeptical about the psychology out there and the rush to diagnose our kids. Being married to a biblical/nouthetic counselor, our "prescriptions" for many of those diagnoses are much different from what therapists and psychologists would say. We believe the Bible to be sufficient for all spiritual conditions.
So, session after session, with little improvement (speech is better but behavior/OT is not), we began to look into what is really wrong with our peanut. And now our very own child has a label. Sensory Processing Disorder. And I cringe as I write that. But I can't deny his "symptoms" are true. I live with them every. single. day. I often say, "We're still dealing with _____ after 1 1/2 years?"
And now, not only am I a therapist during our scheduled therapy sessions, I now have to be a therapist 24/7 to help Cole get through this. And it is overwhelming. Yesterday, I couldn't help but cry as the OT was telling me all I needed to be doing. I felt bad for making her uncomfortable but I just couldn't keep it together. I was thinking about all my other responsibilities and all that I'd potentially have to give up (a truly selfish moment even though many of those things are good things).
A huge issue in this for me is discipline. Mark and I have strict expectations for our kids and went through an excellent parenting course last year that teaches us to teach our children to be "other-centered" instead of the overwhelming self-centered attitude the world embraces. Now I have to be extra mindful in determing his behavior - is it sensory related or just plain ol' sin?
I will say that God has softened my heart for Cole in this, making me more willing to love, just as I had been praying for. So much of this is spiritual & not just neurological, because of his circumstances during his first year of life. My heart breaks again for him and all he has had to endure. But at the same time, I feel so inadequate, unable and unwilling to deal with all this. And I thought by now we'd be past all this.
(I do need to point out that in no way does this affect my attitude towards him as my child. This could just as easily be the story of Lucy or Nate. But truly, this is the story of me and how God continues to allow my circumstances to be what they are so that I will be changed. )
Parenting is never easy but there are typically good phases and bad phases. I feel stuck in a bad phase for 1.5 years, alone, isolated with no end in sight. I feel desperate to receive biblical counsel from someone with a similar situation, to help me balance the issue of sin vs. disorder.
Have I said too much? Probably, but I have to be real. I am still pro-adoption and pro-Cole :) but feeling vulnerable and confused through these challenges right now.

Love

2010-10-19T10:35:00.000-07:00

Love is an action, not a feeling. This is a biblical truth, for sure, but not often displayed in our world or society. Because it's hard to love someone when you don't feel a certain way about them. Sometimes love comes easily simply because of the nature of the relationship. I remember first holding Lucy, Nate and Cole and feeling so in love with each of them. I remember the weeks right before and right after our wedding; it was so exciting and easy to love Mark.

But other times, most times, honestly, it is hard to love others the way we are called to love them. The battle with our fleshly selves is so strong, so powerful, that when we don't feel love towards another, our first instinct is to simply not love. Instead we snap, yell, shut down, drown in self-pity - the reactions are endless.

It is also a struggle to love someone when the love is not returned. That is a true test of loving in action and not in feeling. Of course, the prime example of this is God's own love for us. I still remember when the truth of Romans 5:8 (But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us) hit me hard. I had been a believer for several years but still thought God's love for me was measured through my circumstances. If He was blessing me, then I was in His favor and if things were rough, I was doing something wrong. The power in this verse set me free from wondering how God felt about me. He loved me when I did NOT love Him in return (...while we were yet sinners...) and that love is forever demonstrated in the truth of Christ dying on the cross for my sins. There's just no doubt to remain.

In looking to that example, I am challenged in my daily life to look at how I love others. Right now, to be honest, it is not easy to love my youngest child. He is a handful, to say the least. A strong personality, combined with being 2 years old, combined with some developmental struggles which always lead to huge frustrations all add up to a very unlovable situation. (I'm not trying to single out Cole - I have had this with my other kids for sure - it's just my circumstances right now involve #3).

Honestly, many times I have chosen to rely on my feelings and reject the opportunity to love him. I let emotions that do not normally control me get the best of me. I feel out of control with the situation and I give up. But if I look to Romans 5:8, I am reminded that God did not act on feeling but on true love. In a sinful, unforgiven state, a person is an enemy of the Lord, and yet He gave up His only Son so that reconciliation could be renewed. (Romans 5:10)

There is another person, an enemy now, whom I can't imagine loving if I saw him again. This person has deliberately hurt those I care about and again, emotions are controlling. I do not believe this person to be a believer and can not hold his actions accountable to such standards. Lost people will behave like lost people. But I am still called to love. And the only way to do this is with the power of the Holy Spirit. It is my job as a believer and follower of Christ, to surrender myself and allow Him to work through me. So there is no excuse not to love. No excuse not to pray. No excuse not to be willing to be used by the hand of God for His kingdom. Help me, God, to love.

adopted

2010-09-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned many times on here before how much I adore Russell Moore's book, Adopted for Life. Really, it is a must read for everyone!

One of the things that really struck me (although it seems obvious in hindsight) is the connection between earthly adoption of orphans and my own spiritual adoption into the kingdom of God. I may not be able to relate to an earthly orphan's adopted identity but I can connect the dots as a person adopted into the kingdom of righteousness. Just as many orphans today are taken out of desperate & dark situations, I was taken out of spiritual darkness and sin and adopted into light and salvation.

That's why it was a no brainer when we went to design our new fundraiser t-shirts for Sparrow Ministries. Any believer can wear this shirt and in doing so, show the world that he/she has been adopted by God! And what a conversation starter, too! We want to make even the word "adopted" more familiar and accepted. Our churches are filled with adopted people - maybe, like me, they just didn't realize it!

I hope you'll consider buying a shirt or passing the word on to someone who may be interested. They're just $15 and are made of quality cotton. Sizes run big and are available S-XL. All the profit goes to the Orphan Care ministry at our church which helps families pay for their adoptions and serves the needs of orphans locally and worldwide.

You can see more pictures and get ordering information at our website: Made for Orphans.

Or email us at madefororphans@gmail.com. Sparrow Ministries is also on Facebook! :)

Broken

2010-09-20T13:47:00.001-07:00

A first for us last Sunday... Nate broke his arm! He was on the playground at Awana and fell off the top. Mark & I were at home and got the phone call no one wants to get! But we were so thankful he was in good hands while we rushed to get him!

After a looooooong night in the emergency room (actually 2 emergency rooms as we were told to leave and go to the pediatric ER at another hospital) and a few days of pain/discomfort, we are now in the new normal of having a one-handed child!

He has done really well with it all although gets a little frustrated and forgetful at his new limitations. Every time I have told him that he won't be able to play on the playground, he looks at me incredulously like, "What? Why not?". Today he told me, "Guess what, Mom? My arm is all better now." I said that was great and he said, "So we can take this cast off now!" Oh, poor baby, if only it worked that way. We are looking at 6-8 weeks in the cast and then a brace afterwards.

In the end of a not fun situation, there is so much to be thankful for.

1. The break, although bad and full, was not on the growth plates and will heal easily.

2. It's not his leg! As cumbersome as a broken arm is, I can't imagine dealing with a leg.

3. It will heal. At the ER, they put him under to set his arm back in place and it was so awful seeing him with oxygen in his nose and an IV in his arm. But you know what, it was temporary. We left the ER and will have a healed boy in no time. I couldn't help but think of the families in that building that wouldn't have it so easy.

4. It happened in a public place. In this day and age, it's nice there were witnesses to his accident. Sad to even have to consider that.

5. At the church where it happened, there happened to be a pediatric nurse in the lobby who helped wrap his arm. Also, the care of his teachers was above and beyond.

6. Wonderful support and care since. Nate has gotten care packages, cards with stickers and lots of lovin' from friends and family. (I think it has made Lucy wish she broke her arm!)

7. The time of year. Summer is over so he won't miss out on swimming and winter is yet to come so we won't have to worry about fitting a big, heavy coat on.

I could go on...in the end, it was just another life situation where we experienced God's faithfulness, care, provision and mercy. And besides a few alterations to his Halloween costume, life will go on as usual and we can certainly count our many blessings!

Out of the Nest

2010-09-08T12:37:00.001-07:00

Nate with his first day of school prize
Nate had his first day of preschool today! It was a late decision to sign him up and thankfully, we got the very last spot! He will go 2 mornings a week and will have so much fun with other kids his own age. This helps us out at home for one of Cole's therapy sessions (Nate will be home on the day we have the other) .

He went for 45 minutes yesterday with me and then 45 minutes by himself today. Didn't even turn around to say "Bye!" Tomorrow he'll go for the full 2.5 hours and he is so excited! A little disappointed that he doesn't get to ride a bus or take lunch to school but those things will come in time.

His teacher asked him yesterday if he had any brothers or sisters at home to which he quickly replied, "No, but I have a Tole-y at home." (He calls Cole "Toley). And so I said to him, "Nate, Cole is your brother. And what about your sister?" And he looked at me very seriously and said, "Mom, Lucy is not at home. She is at school." Oh, the teachers are going to have fun with this child!

The entire 45 minutes this morning Cole kept asking, "Where's Nate?". He will learn to love the one on one time though - no 3rd child syndrome for a few hours each week!

In other news, we just discovered these great toys that help with fine motor skills. Cole's occupational therapist brought some to the house and we went to the store to get our own. They are as low as $4.99 for one and then of course they have elaborate play accessories, too. I'm thinking Christmas for Cole!!

Lucy's Fundraiser

2010-09-04T10:24:00.000-07:00

Lucy is raising money for her elementary school this year by selling Entertainment books for $30. Half the proceeds go directly to her school! These are available for most major cities in the U.S. and feature hundreds of money saving coupons on dining, shopping, travel and of course...entertainment! If you'd like to buy one, please email me. This offer ends Friday, Sept. 10th!
To order directly online, go here and enter 484449 in the Seller Section.

Thanks!

Looking back

2010-08-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I haven't posted in so long but honestly, the break felt good! I feel so blessed in looking back over our summer vacation (school started today) and realizing it was a GREAT summer for us. I feel like we really tried to make the most of our time together and enjoy the warm weather, too. (I'm already nervous/anxious that fall will be here soon because that means winter is around the corner - nooooo!). We had visits from great friends and family, took two trips to Texas and did all the fun summer stuff you're supposed to do!

Lucy started 1st grade today and I have really struggled with that. Kindergarten was half day so it wasn't a huge deal to have her gone 3 hours every morning. But sending her off today, eating lunch at home without her, and not having our time together while the boys nap is weird and strange and hopefully will get easier! We feel confident that sending her to public school right now is the right decision but it is still hard on this mama.

Natey is still the comic relief in the house. We are always laughing at the silly things he says and does. He is so eager to be older and "wear his backpack to school" but he will have to wait, thankfully. He got to attend VBS for the first time this year and loved it. He asks every time we go to church now if it is time for Bible School again. He will be doing AWANA this year so hopefully, that will sustain him for a while.

Cole really blossomed this summer. We are seeing huge improvements through both speech & occupational therapy. He talks all the time now and has such a cute sing-song/Disney-ish voice. His favorite words that he says right when he wakes up are "Eat!" and "Snack!". He loves fruit and is now okay with chicken nuggets (no other meat, though!). He loves to say "Hi" and "Bye" to anyone and everyone and is way more interactive with strangers. He rode in his own seat on the airplane for the first time (silly 2-year old rule) and did quite well!

Here are some pics from the rest of our summer:

Friends Holly and Allee, daughters of my college roomie, Jennifer!

At the zoo

Getting rained on at The Muny, St. Louis' outdoor theater. We saw The Sound of Music.

Nate going to VBS Egypt

Cousin Fun: Nate with Ford

Cousin Fun: Cole with Claire

Cousin Fun: Lucy with Gracyn

Cole checking out the baby ducks

Nate's version of the first day of school photo

Sweet Summer

2010-06-29T19:31:00.000-07:00

I LOVE summer. The lack of a real schedule, having all of my kids home, watching Toy Story or Cars every single morning in our pj's, fireflies, long daylight hours, warm weather (even hot is okay - as long as it's not winter, I'm good!), swimming, sprinklers, road trips, etc. I am really trying to soak up our summer time this year. The past two summers were good but we had some illnesses and setbacks that kept us from waking up each day and wondering freely, "What do we get to do today?" Lucy and I came up with a fun summer checklist to help us keep track of what we want to do. Practicing handwriting should also be on the list. :) I found the idea on a craft blog!

As of today, we have 7 things crossed off already!

We started off the summer with an almost 2 week trip to Texas. The kids and I had a nice, long stay with my family and then Mark joined us and we drove down to see his parents. There's nothing like being around grandparents to renew your love and adoration of your kids. Flying solo with the 3 kids was an experience, for sure, but manageable as long as there are plenty of snacks. And, of course, we appreciate your continued prayers for Mark's dad, as he continues treatment for his cancer.

While we were there, we hit the one year mark of picking up Cole in India. It was neat to remember the journey and experiences that now seem so long ago. My mom made a cake and we had a fun little celebration for him.

We also got to meet up with Rachel and meet two of her adorable kids. Her daughter was the first child I got to meet at the orphanage last year and I will never forget her sweet smile that totally calmed my pounding heart!

On Father's Day, back at home, we got to meet two more Dillon families who each picked up their daughters this past year. That was such a neat experience to reunite the kids and see how they looked at each other curiously but totally obvlivious to their shared past. Cole kept calling each of the girls "baby" even though they were both bigger than him!

Lucy lost her first tooth last week and Cole has started speech therapy (he gets tested this week to see if occupational therapy is going to be added to his plan). Nate went to the movie theater for the first time to see Toy Story 3 and had a hard time understanding the concept of previews. After every one, he'd ask: "Where's Woody and Buzz?" Super cute movie, by the way.
I've been re-reading some of my favorite books by Bodie Thoene - the Zion Covenant series. I haven't read them in about 10 years and can not put them down. Great historical books! Mark is enjoying his mini-season tickets to the Cardinals this summer and he just loves living in a real baseball town. And of course, the Lakers big win made him a very happy man, too.
And the best part is, we still have 6 weeks left of summer! Hooray!

Two

2010-06-15T05:00:00.000-07:00

Cole turned two yesterday! We had a fun but low key day around here ending in a trip to Chuck E Cheese followed by cake & ice cream and of course, presents. He was pretty clueless (although he picked up on the opening gifts thing a lot quicker than I thought) but big brother and sister were more than eager to help and reap the benefits!

He did have his 2 year old checkup but thankfully, no shots. He screamed during the nurse's evaluation and when she turned to walk out the room, he immediately got quiet and said, "buh-bye! buh-bye!" Such a stinker!! He weighs 21 pounds (not on the charts still) and measures almost 32 inches.

He has really started exploding with language although he was recently tested to be way delayed in this area as well as a few others. We will start First Steps (Missouri's early childhood intervention program) on Friday.

Lunch on the birthday plate

Oops!

Fun with Dad

He was not pleased as I pushed the cake away from him to take this picture.

He had just stuck his hands in the icing!

Yum!

Presents!

Hoping this color board will help with some fine motor skills

Maybe now he'll leave my broom alone!

2 year old boy

Three

2010-05-26T06:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Nate's third birthday and since he didn't quite get the concept of birthday, we worked hard to make it an extra special day! (There was one minor meltdown when the store did not make the Batman cake we ordered 3 weeks earlier but thankfully, the local grocery came to the rescue, in true superhero style.)

Not happy about waking up, not knowing what fun was ahead!

Birthday? Presents? Hmmm....

Okay, sounds like fun!

Excited to see decorations

He got to open one gift (from Lucy)

Went to Chuck E Cheese for lunch

Slip and Slide in the backyard

dinner, presents and cake with friends

It was a very special day for a very special boy! We love our Nater Gator!

The Point

2010-05-13T07:23:00.000-07:00

Well, you have probably noticed by now the blog is back at public setting. So there's some weirdo overseas who is reading. Whatever. The point of this blog has been to bring awareness to adoption - the good, the bad and the ugly of it all. And the fact that we all* need to be participating in some way either by adopting or helping those who are.

I'm so excited to learn that an old college friend (recently reunited through the wonders of facebook) and her husband are on the path to adopt from India! They are in the application part 2 phase and I am going to live vicariously through them and the excitement of it all (until we're ready to start again ourselves...someday?) They have a blog and are trying to raise funds so feel free to check it out and help them out! Update: They are using Dillon, the same adoption agency as us!
Sears Family

Also, I had the joy to briefly attend a seminar/workshop/exhibit? locally regarding orphans in Missouri state foster care. For Sparrow Ministries (our orphan ministry at church), we are trying to learn more about domestic adoption to be able to meet the needs of all those who are willing to adopt. It was fascinating to be educated on the wonders of adopting out of foster care. There are thousands of kids whose birth parents have terminated their rights and are ready to be adopted today! The cost is minimal and the wait time is ridiculously short compared to the unpredictability of international adoption. Hope for Kids was an eye opening experience for sure.

While there, I met Ian. Ian is an adult adoptee from Kolkata, India! He works for a coalition designed to help families find the right local agency to adopt from the state. He started an orphanage for girls in Kolkata in 2006. He was so excited to hear about Cole and our experience involved with adopting him. It was a surreal experience.

So the blog will stay up and I'll continue to advocate adoption here (as well as keep the grandparents satisfied with pics of the kids) and hope and trust all will be well!

*Referring to believers - the Bible clearly shows God's heart for orphans

Dedicating Cole

2010-05-11T12:22:00.000-07:00

(Kids wearing Indian attire from their Aunt Michelle, who traveled there a few months after us last year)

Sunday at church we had the privilege to bring Cole before the Body of Christ and dedicate him to the Lord. (A lot of people ask us why we don't baptize our babes but instead dedicate them. The baptism issue is another post in itself but thought I'd explain about dedication here!)

The Bible does not command us to dedicate our children, nor does it command us to make such a vow. But it does tell us that if we do make a vow, it is a very serious thing to God (Numbers 30:2).

( Our pastor with Cole)

We specifically looked at Deuteronomy 6 and Psalm 78 which commands parents to tell the future generations the praises of the Lord. Not in a pastoral/preaching sort of way, but in a lifestyle way. ("...when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deut 6:7-9)

I also really liked verses 2-7 of Psalm 78:

"2I will open my mouth in a parable;
I will utter dark sayings of old,
3Which we have heard and known,
And our fathers have told us.
4We will not conceal them from their children,
But tell to the generation to come the praises of the LORD,
And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done.
5For He established a testimony in Jacob
And appointed a law in Israel,
Which He commanded our fathers
That they should teach them to their children,
6That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to
be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children,
7That they should put their confidence in God
And not forget the works of God,
But keep His commandments..."

We do not, in any way, believe this dedication to have input on Cole's eternal destiny for we know that salvation comes after an individual's confession (Romans 10:13). We simply vow to teach him (as we have vowed for Lucy & Nate) the truths of God's Word and commit to pray for him to come to a saving knowledge of Him.

It was especially neat because there was another adopted child being dedicated, a four year old boy who just came home from Ethiopia in March.

It was a wonderful Mother's Day for me to have all my babies home with me!

Making Memories

2010-04-28T10:25:00.001-07:00

We had the privilege this past weekend of spending time at Mark's parents house in Texas. Mark's dad was recently diagnosed with colon cancer and we were so anxious to get down there and just be with them. The Lord provided gorgeous weather and carefree grandkids to make the visit extra special. Here are some pics.

Boys throwing rocks into the pond

Cole meeting Chief

Cole "swimming"

Snuggle time after nap

The farmers

Feeding the horses

Wading in the pond

Riding the "tractor"

Play Ball

2010-04-16T06:25:00.000-07:00

We took Cole to his first baseball game this week - Cardinals vs. Astros. Let's just say he was not a fan. I don't really blame him though because we were in the bleachers and it was so sunny. He could barely keep his eyes open (wondering if the surgery is still making him light sensitive?). He spent most of the time with his head buried in my shirt or sitting under the bleachers! He was much happier when we went behind the stands to the childrens play area.

Nate was so disappointed with the game because he didn't understand why he couldn't go out on the field and play baseball. He also definitely did not like the fireworks.

Lucy had fun but didn't want to sit still in the stands and watch for very long. Thankfully, the people next to us were patient to let us in and out (thanks to the beer).

If you know me, you know I am a Cubs fan. For 20 years now I have been following that team and of course their rival is the Cardinals. It is hard for me to be quiet in this town and even at the game people were commenting, "Make sure you raise those kids to hate the Cubs!" Sheesh! Definitely a lesson in self-control for me.

Going Private

2010-04-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

After a creepy email from a "reader", we're going to make the blog private. Send me an email if you'd like to keep up with us! Thanks!

Hope

2010-04-04T17:26:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter! Rejoicing today in Hope that outlives the cares, trials, tragedies, disappointments and regrets of this world. I hope you are rejoicing, too!

Cole had strabismus eye muscle surgery on Friday. It went well and we felt such peace as we knew so many were praying. It was a delight to see him react to the "happy juice" they gave him before they took him away. He was so giggly and silly! It was not a delight to have the anesthesiologist take him from me and watch him scream and cry until he was behind the double doors of the operating room. The doctor said it went well though it will be weeks, even months, before we know if it was successful or not. We were prepared but still quite alarmed at the look of his eyes post surgery, thankful those effects should be gone in a week. Also amazed at how quickly he was back to normal. We noticed "the scowl" had returned after surgery and thought, "We thought the scowl was gone for good! Oh no!" But the next day he was happy again and so were we!

Saturday we had our craft show for Sparrow Ministries. We had a great turnout in the morning and then not so much after lunch. But in the end, we raised over $2500!! We had so many volunteers and donations - it was humbling and affirming that God is at work. He is so good and we are faithfully praying that families in our church will rise up in obedience to adopt for we are ready to help!

It's been an exhausting, hard week for our family with more than I can share right now. More than likely there is a tough road ahead in which we will all be tested. It's an opportunity to rise up and bless His name, even when we won't feel like it. An opportunity to trust Him in a situation completely out of our control. And through it all, holding on to Hope. For what else is there?

Life around here

2010-02-24T11:11:00.000-08:00

As winter continues to make itself known in full force here, we are staying busy with something for everyone! I am beyond excited to be leaving this Friday for the Adopting for Life conference in Kentucky. After a successful launch of our new orphan ministry to our church a few weeks ago, I am eager to learn more about increasing the awareness of adoption as evangelism and encouraging people to get involved, even if they aren't going to adopt themselves.

We have had such positive feedback regarding Sparrow Ministries . (Click on the link to see our video!) One family felt led to do something and after realizing adopting themselves was probably not realistic, they then chose to give a nice amount of money to help another family with their adoption. (And wouldn't you know it was the exact amount needed in order to be able to accept a referral?) We have had so many people want to help and you can see thoughts stirring in hearts and minds. Praise God! Of course, our immediate goal is to build a fund and we are doing that through our handmade goods sold here. We've added so many items and priced them low and are just having a blast!

Mark is still working hard and faithfully getting home at night in time to tuck the kids into bed (which the kids love). He is loving LOST and eagerly anticipating the arrival of baseball season. He and some friends are even going to be meeting in Arizona for spring training in March!

Lucy is really advancing in her reading ability and is also looking forward to being in a play at school about the three pigs. She is cast as a peddlar (aka crowd) and couldn't be more pleased. She is anxious to lose her first tooth although we haven't seen any signs of that happening soon. I am soaking up her half days at kindergarten, fearful that all day 1st grade will be here before we know it!

Nate is 100% potty trained - even at night. It feels like we have been given a raise, not having to buy diapers for him anymore. He is so proud of himself and absolutely adorable. He doesn't even tell me when he has to go now - just runs into the bathroom all by himself. We are still working on "It's not necessary to lock the door" though.

And Cole. Dear, sweet Cole who likes to keep things interesting. :) We have a program here in MO called Parents as Teachers. It's totally free and an early childhood expert comes to your home a few times during the school year to assess your preschoolers and help, etc. We love Miss Ann and she has been such a trooper since Cole arrived with a big bag of issues! In fact, it was her recent persistance that led us to get a second opinion on his eyes. She had brought along an OT and we were able to see how delayed developmentally he is in certain areas. (Around 6-12 months of age in fine motor skills). She felt like his eyesight may be a factor in the fact that he couldn't put a round disc through the opening or bang a specific block with a hammer, or even stack two blocks together.

So we went to another pediatric opthamologist this week and his assessment was so far from the first visit back in the fall. But we have checked his opinion with others and now feel confident in his decision. Cole will have strabismus eye surgery on April 2nd. He will also be treated with eye drops twice a week to strengthen his weak, or lazy, eye. (This produces the same results as using a patch.)

All in all, things are great and as I sit and write the ins and outs of my family, I can't help but realize how extremely blessed I am. Unbelievably, undeservedly blessed.

Watch Cole Grow - Month ??

2010-02-06T09:03:00.000-08:00

Totally lost track of my good intentions to detail Cole's growth every month. I'll just blame that on life, I guess!

He obviously is comfortable in the new booster seat. Bye-bye highchair!

He is doing great, up to 20 pounds (hooray for facing front in the car seat) and just so busy! He is definitely more animated than my other two who are very laidback about most everything. In so many ways, I have felt like a first time mama with this one (I'm sure I've said that before) but I consider that a blessing (now) as I've learned and grown so much through my little peanut.

Mark and I took turns trying to keep up with him at Chuck E Cheese. This was a rare moment in which he paused!

Not many words but he does like to mimic sounds and has the best deep belly laugh ever. He is also the best snuggler and I treasure that time ususally right after he wakes up. He is getting picky about food but in your typical toddler way. He also loves hats and wears any hat he can find almost every waking moment.

He loves pizza, fruit, crackers and pasta.

It's hard to believe he is almost 20 months old and coming up on a 2nd birthday in a few months!

Hanging out in the toy box!

Orphan Ministry Fundraiser

2010-01-24T20:17:00.000-08:00

We are working hard to get our new ministry off the ground! Our goal is to build a fund to help adoptive families within our church finance an adoption as well as help support orphans in need worldwide.

Our first fundraiser is handmade fabric keychains for only $5.00.

If you'd like to place an order, you can click on these google documents: Order Form and Keychain Choices or email me and I'll send you the forms. You can also see the keychains online here. Orders of 10+ keychains will receive free shipping! A great opportunity to pass these around the office or neighborhood and buy in bulk.

We appreciate the support! 100% of your payment goes directly to our ministry!

Thankful. Relief. Awe.

2010-01-20T11:43:00.000-08:00

After more than a month of unknown, worry, fear, trust, prayer and hope, the final test has come in. Cole's white blood cell count came up completely normal this week. When his doctor called today, I braced myself and ashamedly, feared the worst. But she was practically giggly as she told me good news. She went on to say she had no explanation for it and felt like we could proceed as normal until she is scheduled to see him again on his 2nd birthday. (We will still visit the endocrinologist for his growth but not until May, as we were refused an earlier appointment.)
I immediately thought, but there is an explanation! So many people have been praying on this little boy's behalf and the good Lord saw fit to heal him. Of course, even if the call had been bad news and God thought it best for us to press on through more testing and more unknown, He is still worthy of our praise. Obviously, we are overjoyed at this point that His will was to bless Cole with good health for now.
I can not thank you enough for your prayers. I truly believe that has made a difference and can't wait for Cole to be old enough to understand how God and His people intervened on his behalf. Blessings to you...

Introducing Sparrow Ministries

2010-01-11T09:05:00.000-08:00

We are so excited to announce our new ministry serving orphans worldwide and adoptive families here at home. We are hoping to launch this directly to our home church in the next few weeks.

In the meantime, you can see our fundraising website by clicking here: Made for Orphans.

The initial idea is to raise funds to help families in our church get over the "sticker shock" of adoption and pursue it with joy and obedience with financial help from the local body of Christ.

Our theology and understanding of adoption in the Church is wonderfully explained in Dr. Russell Moore's book, Adopted for Life. Southern Seminary is hosting an Adopting for Life conference February 26-27 in Louisville, Kentucky. (I will be attending and would love to see some of you there!)

A little news on Cole

2010-01-07T15:43:00.000-08:00

A new "abnormal" has surfaced due to all Cole's tests. Still no answer for the high white blood cell count, but we now know he has an abnormally low growth hormone. Perhaps an answer for why our little guy is still so little?

We now will be sent to a pediatric endocrinologist to further investigate but unfortunately, the rather rude receptionist said he could not get an appointment until May and when I calmly told her it was a little more urgent than that, she said our pediatrician would have to call and vouch for that.

So we are waiting for our doctor to do just that and then we will hopefully start down a new path that will hopefully lead us to Cole's health and growth!

I can not stress enough how thankful we are that he isn't "sick" throughout all of this, that he continues to be a source of joy and energy as a normal 18 month old should be (even if he looks like a walking 6 month old!). :) He is signing "more" all the time for food and drink and is completely off bottles and formula. He likes Carnation Instant Breakfast in the morning, loves fruit, chicken nuggets and all sweets!

Thanks again for all the kind comments. We'll update again if we learn anything new!

No news is good news?

2010-01-05T13:01:00.000-08:00

The first of the test results have come in and it all looks fine which is both good and bad! Good because those illnesses are eliminated but bad because we still don't know what is going on with our little man.

Our doctor spoke with a hematologist who reviewed his case and didn't feel an urgency to do a bone marrow biopsy or look for malignancy at this time. That is a huge relief and certainly assured our doctor as well.

More results should come in throughout the week. Thank you so much to those of you praying!

Update on Cole

2009-12-30T12:08:00.001-08:00

After the blood draw on Tuesday, our doctor called this morning and asked to see him again. She is very puzzled by his results. She sent us back to the lab for more blood, a chest xray, urine sample and at home stool sample kits.

I had Lucy & Nate with me - again. 3 1/2 hours later, we finally got to leave! The chest xray had to be done twice and I wasn't allowed in there with him the first time since my other two kids weren't allowed to be left in the waiting room alone. The lady seemed very uncomfortable with him and initially just asked him to follow her to the room. I am sure the look on my face was pure ridiculousness at her. :) The second time, there was a nice young mom there who was packing up to leave with her kids and she offered to stay with Lucy and Nate so I got to attempt to comfort Cole as we held him down and waited for him to inhale to get the xray done right.

The blood draw was unsuccessful the first attempt so they sent us up to the pediatric unit (again, Lucy & Nate following along) where they strapped him down and were able to get 5 vials much easier. Every room we were sent to was at the opposite end of the hospital and each time we started the trek I could barely keep it together. 4 big winter jackets, diaper bag, a 1 year old, a 2 year old and a 6 year old. Thankfully, most of the nurses and techs were nicer at each stop which was good since I was so close to tears anyways!

Praying for some kind of easy solution! The terms malignancy, leukemia, bone marrow were thrown out there... Regardless, God is good and sovereign and in control of it all!

Watch Cole Grow - Month 6

2009-12-28T18:44:00.000-08:00

Actually this post should be titled: Watch Cole attempt to grow but isn't really doing it and so we have to get blood drawn for the third time tomorrow to try and figure out why his white blood cell count is so high when he's not sick and why he's not gaining weight when he's eating huge amounts of food... but that wouldn't fit in the title box so we'll stick with the usual. :)

All that to say, Cole is doing well, is happy and appears healthy. He is 18 months old, weighs 18 lbs 15 oz and still drowns in 6-9 month clothes. The teeth are slowly coming in and the stranger anxiety is getting less. But our doctor is concerned at his slow weight gain which is understandable but more concerned as to why his white blood cell count is so high. We had to get blood drawn right before Christmas and it was a nightmare experience. I had all three kids and could only have Cole back in the room, leaving Lucy & Nate in the waiting room by themselves. The nurses were so unfriendly, blaming Cole and his small veins for the reason the needle kept coming out again and again. He was screaming non stop and now we have to go back again tomorrow and do it all again! Oh dear...

On a happier note, we had a wonderful Christmas. It was a joy to watch all three kids have fun, wear smiles, and interact with long distance family. We spent at least half our vacation time in the car driving across Missouri, Oklahoma and Texas but thankfully the kids did great! Praise God for in-car DVD player. :) We even got to experience a Texas white Christmas which was magical (although treacherous to drive home in the next day).

Happy now to be at home and look forward to 2010 with great expectations and trust in our sovereign God who remains faithful in all things. Hope all of you have a wonderful New Year's!

Finalization Pictures

2009-12-17T14:44:00.001-08:00

Forever Family with Judge:

With our Missouri (church) family:

Proud to be an American:

Thanks to Jim for taking the pictures! We were so blessed to have the Younces and Elliotts come and support us since our family is in Texas. It was a special day!

P.S. Cole's pants are size 6 months and safety pinned on both sides! :)

Cole's video

2009-12-16T16:56:00.000-08:00

We finalized Cole's adoption today. Pictures to come! In the meantime, my brother made this video for us highlighting our journey to Cole...

SIX

2009-12-02T19:10:00.000-08:00

My big girl, Lucy, turned 6 recently. That. is. so. old. I can't believe how big she is! On her actual birthday, she had a friend over to play and also went to get her ears pierced! I always thought I'd wait until she was older to get this done but then realized I didn't have a good reason for that. They make lots of age appropriate cute little girl earrings!

She chose to eat out for her birthday dinner at the Emperor's Palace chinese buffet! Mostly because they have a yummy chocolate fountain that you can dip strawberries and marshmallows in!

No party for her this year because she & I got to fly down to Dallas for a girls trip to the American Girl Store!! It was amazing. Her best friend/cousin, Gracyn, was the honored guest. Also we were joined by Nan, Aunt Kalee and new baby cousin Lindsey. I really can't explain how magical it was - made me wish it was my 6 year old birthday so I could pick out such fun stuff!

All the girls after FOUR hours in the store:

We had the nicest waiter:

Best friends:

Six:

Watch Cole Grow - Month 5

2009-11-16T12:58:00.000-08:00

We recently hit the 5 month mark of getting Cole and the 1 year mark of getting "the call" about him! The fastest and slowest time of my life all in one!

Cole is doing great - super healthy although still super tiny - up to 18 pounds, 5 teeth and starting to get very curious and into stuff, like your typical 17 month old. The bond between him and Nate is amazingly strong. Cole is easily calmed down around Nate and Nate is constantly asking where "Tole" is if he's not in the same room at the moment.

He still is wary of strangers when we're out and I've felt like making him a shirt that either says "Don't Touch Me" or "It's not you, it's me" to try and avoid some of the negative reactions we get when someone approaches him and he begins to scream and cry. I certainly did not think we'd still be having this issue 5 months into his life here but there are so many other vast improvements, I can't complain!

One more post-placement visit to go and hopefully we'll be finalizing it all in December!

Goodbye October!

2009-11-02T15:18:00.000-08:00

Farewell to the longest month e-v-e-r!! Goodbye rain, and more rain, and more rain! Goodbye winter-like temperatures! Goodbye soccer game and practice cancellations! Goodbye bad attitude and grumpy spirit o' mine!

November started off here in St. Louis absolutely beautiful. It was such a huge blessing to see the sun shining and to feel crisp, fall weather. It felt like a promise from God, good is yet to come.

We had a fantastic Halloween trick-or-treating with friends and are anxiously counting down to family time which we have been missing terribly. Major grandparent withdrawal around here. Lucy & I are flying to see my parents in order to celebrate her 6th birthday with her BFF/cousin (thanks, Southwest, for the free tickets!) in 2 weeks and then Mark's parents will be here for Thanksgiving.

We enter into the season of Thanksgiving with full and grateful hearts. If I were to list all our blessings, you'd be reading for days. Near the top of the list right now - good health!

My 3 Trick-or-Treaters:

My ferocious alligator:

My sweet kitty cat:

My curious monkey:

Thanks to our fabulous friends for the great Halloween photos!

Watch Cole Grow - Month 4

2009-10-14T13:27:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: Cole went to a pediatric opthamalogist this week and will not require surgery or any other immediate action for his eyes. He is farsighted but not severe enough where it would be worth the trouble of glasses at his age. We'll go back around his 2nd birthday to re-evaulate. Praise God!

Can't believe we've had our peanut home for four months now! He is 16 months old today and continues to change quite a bit (for the better, mostly!). Still not quite 18 pounds and still unable to wear any kind of pants due to zero waist or behind. :) We love the one-piece outfits and overalls!

2 teeth now: one on the bottom and an upper molar. Our pediatrician said that was definitely the most interesting order of teeth to appear she has seen! Two more are on their way in. Eye doctor appointment next week - praying for an easy solution! Says Mama and Dada to us and can be rather L-O-U-D. Waves bye-bye but quickly stops to clap for himself. So thankful that he is eating so much now (working on learning the sign language for "please" instead of screaming impatiently in the high chair).

Can't believe we're coming up on a whole year when we first saw his little face!

Pumpkin Patch 2009

2009-10-10T15:03:00.001-07:00

We ventured over to the local Pumpkin Patch this weekend even though it was chilly out and super muddy. Everyone had a fun time and it turned out to be a gorgeous, fall day!

Nate loved the tractors everywhere but not the signs that said Keep Off Tractors. Very disappointing for him.

Nate & Lucy got to ride the ponies

Nate says pumpkin "putt-in" :)

My new favorite picture of my almost 6 year old girl

These pumpkins are bigger than Cole!

Fall Dress

2009-10-07T11:01:00.000-07:00

I made this dress for Lucy in literally less than 30 minutes using the tutorial over at a craft blog here. Probably would have gone even faster except 1)I couldn't find a safety pin and 2)two little boys were way too fascinated with my sewing machine.

It is made out of dishtowels, found in the Target dollar spot ($2.50 for both)! I hope they'll have Christmas ones next!

The One in the Middle

2009-10-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

Poor Nate hasn't been featured on here in a while - must be that middle child syndrome. He is very noticable in our home though, constantly having us laughing or shaking our heads in wonder.

His latest adorableness comes out in the way he addresses his sister. He no longer calls her "C", which used to be his best version of "Lucy", but she is now just "Sweetie". 100% of the time. "Sweetie's at school" "Sweetie's school bus" "No, Sweetie, No!" He also stands in the driveway with arms outstretched when the bus comes after school. And with a mama's pride I watch as she faithfully runs off the bus into his arms for the first hug.

He is also completely obsessed with friends from church: Sam, 4, and Paige, 6. I hear him listing all the time, "Mama, Daddy, Nate, Sweetie, Tole (Cole),Sammy, Paige." He was talking on the phone to my parents recently and was telling them that Daddy was at work and Paige was at school. I don't blame him for his obsession - they are great kids who are so kind to him!

We are well into the supposed terrible two's, yet he continues to be a laidback, mostly obedient sweetheart of a boy. We have had zero issues with any jealousy since Cole arrived and we thank God every day for this blessing of a child! (Me especially since I prayed and prayed he would be a girl. Isn't God good to give us what we need and not what we think we want? One of the many ways God shows me that, just as in the beginning of creation, He alone knows what is good.)

Watch Cole Grow - Month 3

2009-09-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

Things are finally settling in around here and I have two words for that: Praise God! Mark likes to quote Pinocchio and say about Cole, "He's a real boy!" as he now seems to exhibit much more characterics of a child his age - contentment, joy, patience to go along with the screaming, whining and crying.

We had Mark's parents in for Labor Day weekend and Cole did so great with them. They even babysat, took the kids to McD's and survived! It was a true turning point as he continues to show more patience and acceptance of others. Being out for weekly soccer practice has helped as well as continual stays in the church nursery.

We went for his 15 month checkup today and here are his current stats:

17 lbs 9 oz
28 1/4 inches

We are going to the pediatric opthamologist next to see about his eyes - they don't always stay together as you can see in the picture (he is wearing Nate's halloween costume in an attempt to make Nate want to try it on)...

Soccer!

2009-09-14T18:59:00.000-07:00

Lucy is playing soccer this year for the first time and she loves it! She has had practice for several weeks and her first game was this past Saturday. I was so impressed with the attitude and effort of the girls - it was a lot of running and endurance for these 5 & 6 year olds!

The best part was watching both teams and coaches gather in the middle of the field to pray before the game. I just know this is going to be a great experience for our girlie and am excited to watch her grow!

She started out in defense near the goal. Here she is viewing the action at the other end of the field:

Watching & waiting:

Still waiting...

Hooray! Finally some action!

Month 2

2009-09-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

So I'm a month behind already! Anyways, here is a picture and update of Cole back around August 8 (our two month anniversary of receiving him). We have a doc appointment on Wednesday so I'll add the month 3 update after that...

Cole started walking, grew his first tooth (one loner on the bottom) and babbles "mama" and "dada" but not necessarily at his parents. :) He weighed around 17 pounds & had his first visit to the zoo.

Book Review

2009-09-11T12:51:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading the book Going Public by David and Kelli Pritchard. If you're a believer and your child is in or will attend public school, you should definitely read this book!

It shares from their family's personal experience how to equip and walk beside your child as he/she attends public school and maintains the Christian morals and values taught to him/her in the home.

This book is full of practical tips and advice plus personal testimonials and has inspired me to have a better attitude about Lucy's kindergarten experience! It was written very recently, although before the presidential election of 2008.
You can read more about it here.

Meanwhile...

2009-09-02T18:44:00.000-07:00

I really enjoy reading blogs. I love reading about adoption stories, catching up on friends from college & beyond, saving money from all those coupon sites and have now found my newest addiction - the craft/project blog! It's been so fun to go from one to another and to see so many cute and inexpensive ideas. My favorites so far are 320 Sycamore, MADE, and Creative Little Daisy.

It's been such great "therapy" for me to be making stuff, to feel productive when there is so much I just can't do right now. Just wanted to showcase a few things...

I saw on this blog the inspiration for our new Backpack station. This is our hall closet at the top of the stairs that used to be your typical hall closet. I should have taken a "before" picture but I'm sure you get the idea. Coats, vacuum cleaner, random stuff on the shelf. Now we have this organized, pretty station to keep all the "stuff"! (I've also ordered the kids' names in vinyl lettering that I'll put above their hooks.)

This is not something I've made but I have received lots of comments lately about the labels I use on Cole's bottles & cups. My friend Mary Ellen sells them and you can click the link for Stuck on You on the right side of my blog. I got a set of labels shortly after Lucy was born and they have lasted this whole time and we used them in the beginning for sippy cups, snack cups, etc and now put them on her lunchbox, backpack, etc. Such a great, great product!

Also, I found this super easy tutorial here to make reusable snack bags. I was going through ziploc bags like crazy needing to pack snacks for two boys any time we go out and it was getting excessive (especially since we're so housebound and I can't get to the store that often to buy more). Now Lucy takes a snack to kindergarten every day and they have been perfect for that as well!

And lastly, I made my first article of clothing. I love to sew, even had a sewing business for a while, but have always been intimidated by clothes. So I found this tutorial and made Lucy a skirt! It's not perfect but it will work and it wasn't easy but I did it! My next challenge is to use an actual pattern. The teacher of the tutorial recommends making things out of old sheets from Goodwill so I have a cute one covered in wildflowers that I got for $2 just waiting to be a cute sundress. We'll see how it goes! (Lucy's skirt is made from a pillow sham I got there as well.)

Of course, it's very important that the skirt twirls...

Then I made a matching hairclip using this tutorial.

So I don't think I'm going to turn into a craft blog but it has been fun making all these things! And it's easier to show my mom (who answers all my sewing questions for me) the finished products this way!

Back to School

2009-08-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

Lucy started kindergarten this week! She LOVES it so much which makes it easier on this sad mama who can see the next 13 years of her life flying by!

She only has 15 kids in her class and a new teacher who seems very sweet and organized. We debated back and forth about letting her ride the bus and in the end, we decided to give it a try. With two little boys that take for-ev-er to get in and out of the car, we thought it would be much simpler (especially once winter comes) to take advantage of the bus! Of course the first day the bus was super early and we almost missed it but I'm sure we'll get the hang of it.

I've also struggled with what method of schooling is best for our family. We always felt like public school would be a wonderful ministry opportunity but now that we're here, it concerns me to let go of Lucy this way. So needless to say, we'll be doing a lot of monitoring and praying and trusting God will show us each school year what He desires for the growth and discipleship of our kids.

2 months

2009-08-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

Cole came home with us two months ago and although I'm not ready to begin the regular happy days of blogging yet, I did want to document this day. Yes, it's the 2 month anniversary of when we stepped off that plane and began this new adventure as a family of 5 but today is also the first day we had no screaming (from either Cole or me!). The first day where we enjoyed ourselves from morning to night! And although he did start to whine when I stood up once to put away laundry, something in me handled it differently.

I confessed openly recently that I have been shown that so much of my struggles this summer were not about Cole after all. Not about a grumpy, whiny child who would not be happy but instead, these trials and intense moments of frustration have been about me! In my arrogance, my expectations for having a 3rd child were extremely inaccurate and having thought myself to be a good mother, capable and patient, I now see my weaknesses overwhelming what little strengths I have.

But I can rejoice in this! 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 shows me that in my repentance & submission, I am now in a place of victory, ready to move forward in service of this adorable little boy who gives nothing in return.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

The difference in me today was submission to the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to empower me to be the mother He has asked me to be! Now each day is going to be another opportunity to submit or to struggle and there may be days when I submit and still struggle. But I have hope again and that is power in itself.

Time for a break...

2009-07-27T15:07:00.001-07:00

I'm going to take a little break from the blog world for a while - not that I post that often anyways! But it's become one more thing to "work" at, trying to think of something worthwhile to share and even more challenging, something that is positive.

I'm concluding our situation is unique in that Cole has been home 6 weeks and we're still struggling. Well, I'm still struggling. We did have a pretty good first post-placement visit though and were told it's "supposed" to get better!

Mark challenged me though with "What if it doesn't get better? What if this is how our life is from now on? How will you handle it? What will you do?" I can't wait it out, I've got to deal with it. So here goes!

Hope everyone has a wonderful rest of the summer! I'm sure I'll post pictures of Lucy's first day of kindergarten which sadly, is only 3 weeks away. Sniff, sniff!

Hanging in there...kind of

2009-07-16T12:26:00.000-07:00

If you're looking for an update on us, you could just go to Colleen's blog and read this post. Seriously, minus the sleep issues (thankfully) and the parties (unfortunately), this is our life, too!!!

The lice is GONE - hooray, hooray. Just as the celebrations were to begin and we were going to actually venture out of our house, Cole now has some mystery fever. The doctor is unsure about it and threw out all kinds of scary options that it could be, but for now we can do nothing but wait and watch. We are hoping to travel to Texas tomorrow to see family (most of whom have not met Cole) but are now hesitant to do so with the fever so we'll see... trying to focus on God's sovereignty and the big picture but it's a challenge when you've been trapped in your house for 5 weeks!

Meanwhile, Lucy is enjoying VBS at our church this week and Nate is entertaining us by yodeling along to the Sound of Music cd (the puppet show is the yodel song) and Cole, in his sickness, is sleeping a lot and enduring it all. Hopefully my next post will be full of pictures from the Texas heat and not more whining about how life isn't fair. :)

Watch Cole Grow!

2009-07-09T20:31:00.000-07:00

For Lucy & Nate's first year of life, I would take a picture each month on the date of their birth showing their growth and change. I was so happy when we got Cole's baby book that it had pages to do that for his first year at home since obviously his first year of life wasn't with us. So here is the Month One picture and stats:

16 lbs 6 oz
27 inches
Crawling, Pulling Up, Standing alone for a few seconds
No hair due to the everlasting lice issue

Also, he is eating better and on a great sleeping schedule - 2 naps a day, 2 hours each, 10-12 hours at night with no wakings! We haven't been out of the house too much and I'm okay with that (though I miss church desperately!).

We went to Children's Hospital yesterday here in St Louis where they have a monthly International Adoption Clinic. If you have something like that in your area, I highly recommend it. We were in one room and 3 out of 4 different doctors came to us to evaulate and screen Cole. (We had to go to an audiology lab for his hearing but that was no big deal since it was just upstairs!)

We're still waiting on lab results but overall things look good! And of course everyone that met him commented on his huge eyes.

So I hope to update with a new picture every month on the day we got him. This is a day late but you get the idea. :)

Counseling

2009-07-04T14:41:00.000-07:00

Mark and his friend, Jason, are co-teaching a Biblical Counseling class at our church this summer. Mark is a certified Biblical Counselor and is using this class to teach other believers how to effectively counsel others using Scripture alone.

You can click here to listen to the lectures and also see a list of books and other helpful resources.

The basis is that Scripture claims to be sufficient to meet every spiritual need and a lot of issues people deal with today are spiritual at the root; whether it is depression, marital trouble, sin issues, etc. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says "All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work."

It's been such a blessing to watch Mark minister to others using God's words and not man's. I'm so proud of him and his obedience to the Lord!

One Step Forward...

2009-07-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

...a million steps back! No, things aren't too bad. We were doing so well and I even managed to take all three kids by myself on a quick errand but we've had a major setback. That nasty lice has returned and it's been a huge pain!! I found it in Lucy's hair earlier this week and was so worried it would have to be cut. She was very patient though as I spent 4 hours combing through every last strand. Thankfully, the boys took great naps that day so I could devote myself to that unpleasant task.

And yuk of all yuk, it showed up in my hair as well. Trying to treat yourself for lice is almost impossible so I have a lot of doubt that I was successful. So I've been doing tons of laundry, bagging up all the stuffed animals, etc and warning those we have seen recently to watch out. Meanwhile, there is a beautiful summer passing us by while we stay home and wait out this nastiness.

But even in all of that...there is purpose and an opportunity to glorify God. It's not the way I would have chosen to spend my time but I can choose to obey and do what He's asked me to do. In this instance, caring for my children requires gross lice shampoo, tedious combing, staying home alone and tons of laundry. Whew.

Meanwhile, we are eager because next week we take Cole to Children's Hospital for their monthly International Adoption Clinic. He has not been to the doctor since we've been home so I'm anxious to hear some professional opinions and advice on his development and growth. I finally found a pair of shorts to fit my little guy and they are size 0-3 months! I keep telling him at mealtime that he needs to eat because there are starving children in the world and he was one of them! He's not convinced though. :)

Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July!

Progress!

2009-06-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

We had a great visit with my mom and dad last week and they were such a huge help to us. We have so much to praise God for and it's hard to believe the huge changes we've seen in just 2 weeks! Cole is doing so well with sleeping now and I can't tell you enough how it warms my heart to hear my two boys on the baby monitor "talking" back and forth at night before they fall asleep. We feel so blessed to have him taking good naps and sleeping all night!
We have discovered his love for sweet potatoes baby food so everything else gets hidden in it for now. He also has come such a long way with self-feeding and is very good at getting small things like cheerios and puffs in his mouth.
One thing I'm so thankful for God's timing in bringing us Cole in the summer time where we have a more flexible schedule and don't have to worry about 10 million layers of clothing just to get out the door. My mom was a great help since I had to take Lucy to Vacation Bible School every day last week but now we have a couple of weeks with nowhere to be and that is going to be great. Still trying to figure out running errands. He & Nate are just not happy shoppers!
Here he is enjoying our little pool and being outside! He is still so little bitty that I put his bath seat in the pool so he could splash around. His tiny 3-6 month bathing suit was barely staying on his waist!

Figuring It Out

2009-06-19T07:46:00.000-07:00

We've been home one week today. I can't believe it! What a huge adventure it has been this past week - so many things I felt unprepared for. Cole does great when he has had sleep and food but our biggest issues are sleep and food! :)

He is a great, marathon sleeper but getting him to sleep is a battle. One I haven't handled very well. Still trying to figure out if he needs one nap or two. He is in his room now with Nate and amazingly, that has worked so well. Both boys slept all night together with no problem!

He is slowly starting to eat more. He loves his baby cereal so I am mixing different things in there - yogurt, applesauce, baby food. He just isn't a big fan of solid foods yet which is totally fine. I just want him to get some nourishment of some kind!

We had to cut his hair since I found lice in it. Ewww! He looks like a big boy now and was such a champ during the haircut. I'm so amazed at how well he takes all these new things - from our big, furry dog giving him kisses to the noisy vacuum cleaner.

Lucy is so in love with this new boy. It's like we went to the toy store and brought her back her very own baby doll. She unselfishly entertains him non-stop, calms him down when he cries, and wants to play with him all the time.

Nate, on the other hand....well, he'll come around eventually. :) He does call him "Dole" which is just adorable. I've also heard the word "Mine" quite frequently as well. Who knew a baby brother would be the catalyst for him to start talking more?

My parents are coming today and I am looking forward to the extra help. I've had dear friends come to my rescue this week by grocery shopping for me, entertaining the kids and cleaning my house. It was a humbling experience and I'm so grateful for them.

I'm encouraged that each day is a step forward towards our new normal. I'm encouraged when I remember that God has a plan and a purpose not only for Cole but for all of us as a family.

P.S. I realize Cole isn't smiling in any of these pictures but he does smile all the time. I'm just so bad with the camera, I can't ever get it recorded!

Birthday Pics

2009-06-16T04:42:00.000-07:00

Surviving

2009-06-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

Our last 24 hours in India were a rollercoaster. It began with a trip to the doctor's office to pick up Cole's medical papers for the embassy appointment. The doctor told us to come before 10 (since that was when our appt was) and we got there at 9. The lady there said the doctor wouldn't be in until 10:15 or 10:30 and told us to sit. About 20 minutes later, after we are quietly panicking and whispering about what to do, another lady comes and just hands us the envelope that was sitting on the counter. Whew - just in time.
Our embassy appointment was really easy. We had a scheduled appointment which got us through the lines quickly but there was still a lot of waiting. I think we got called up to the window 4 times before it was all done but everyone was very nice to us.
We had a late check out at the hotel for 2 pm but our flight wasn't until 12:15 am. I would definitely recommend just paying for the extra night at the hotel to avoid the major struggles we endured. We spent the afternoon doing a little sightseeing and then asked to go to Dilli Haat to shop. Pretty sure that is not where our driver took us since I was told it was a flea market type venue with lots of Indian items. We ended up at what seemed to be a strip mall with Levi's and other Western stores. Hmmm... We did find a few treasures and it was sooooo hot that we didn't stay long and thought we'd just head to the airport early.
Apparently you can not go in the airport before 3 1/2 hours of your flight. So we got dropped off at the visitor's lounge across the street where we had to wait almost 3 hours. It was a nightmare and I broke down and cried several times. Crowded, under construction, hard, plastic chairs and a screaming baby.
When we finally got into the airport, our airline informs us that Cole's ticket is scheduled for July 12th, not June. But they easily changed it since he is a lap child and also hooked us up with the bassinet.
Our stress levels were high at this point and we were hoping to breeze through the officer before going to the gate. Not so. Turns out the first two pages of our packet that we were supposed to give him were for a completely different child. We also didn't have an original copy of something because we gave it to the embassy. Mark was pulling out paper after paper - it was a huge mess - and Cole began to scream...again. We must have stood there for at least 20 minutes. The officer was nice but obviously thorough and finally found what he was looking for in our stack. So to those of you who are traveling soon - check your documents! We just took everything given to us and assumed perfection and then yikes!
And now here we are at home, adjusting. It has not been easy and I hope each day will get a little better, especially since Mark returns to work tomorrow and Grandma & Grandpa leave as well. Thankfully my parents are coming on Wednesday - hope we can survive until then!
On another note, today is Cole's first birthday! Pictures to come...

Home

2009-06-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

We made it home!
The flight was long, of course! Cole slept in the bassinet the first 7 hours which was amazing but the next 7 hours were somewhat rough. Then a quick flight to St Louis and we were reunited with Lucy and Nate and greeted by dear friends and of course Grandma and Grandpa! Thanks to the Younces for these great pictures of our happy reunion.
Nate was not too interested in Cole but Lucy was so sweet and loving on him. He just kept staring at her! He cried in the car seat most of the way home but we did manage a few smiles, too. He has been asleep all day so far! Jet lag suggestions, anyone?
I'll have to blog soon about our last 24 hours in India - lots of unexpected events!

Thanks again for all the prayers. Our God is so good and gracious to us and we felt His protection and provision every step of the way.

Our Welcome Committee:

Family of 5:

Happy to be home:

An Update

2009-06-10T02:48:00.000-07:00

We are now back in Delhi and are counting down until we get home. We took Cole for his medical exam this morning. The doctor was very nice but wanted us to take him to another clinic to have a chest x-ray. I don't know why and wish we didn't have to do it - it was a major pain and a huge ordeal. This poor kid, who is slowly learning to trust us, is screaming his head off as Mark & I have to hold him down on the x-ray table. Fortunately, he was easily comforted afterwards and the clinic was not too intimidating. We are supposed to go back to the doctor right before our appointment at the embassy to pick up the finished paperwork. That makes me nervous cutting it so close!

When the doctor found out we were Americans, he asked us right away if we liked Obama. And what we thought of Bush. Mark handled it so well by saying "Nobody's perfect!" Glad we avoided that conversation since this man clearly felt opposite of how we do. :)

Cole is slowly adjusting. He is still getting used to Mark but hopefully after a good nap and an afternoon/evening in the hotel they will get along better. It's amazing how much my arms hurt from carrying him when he is such a tiny, tiny peanut. Even many local people here have commented on his size - they can't believe he is about to turn one. He doesn't eat much or feed himself but seems content most of the time so who knows? He loves his bottles and tolerates them room temp which makes it so easy for us! Gerber puffs are also a huge hit and I'm so appreciative that both Amy & Colleen mentioned those from their trips. It's so strange to have a little baby after my other two who were/are chunks. The one-piece outfits that so many friends gave us are perfect since he has no waist for shorts to stay on.

It's been interesting to be out and about with our little Indian baby. It was very uncomfortable at times in Kolkata, especially at the airport. I will say that most people have been very nice and supportive but sometimes those few who scowl at us put a damper on things. In Delhi, it's not as bad, especially where we are. There are a lot of Westerners here. There was even a couple on our flight yesterday from Michigan.

We will have a lot of time to kill tomorrow as our flight doesn't leave til midnight yet we have to be out of the hotel by 2. We have some things we'd like to see and do some shopping, too, and are hoping Cole is up for it all! My arms ache for Lucy & Nate and I just can't wait til we can all be together and settled! Here are some more pictures!

Trying to get some nourishment in him:

Leaving Kolkata:

First plane ride:

Back in Delhi:

Starting to see more of these:

Watching basketball with Daddy:

How we met Cole

2009-06-08T19:11:00.001-07:00

Thanks so much everyone for your sweet words of encouragement. I wish we were home right now with all of you! I thought I'd try to record our adventure yesterday (since Cole is napping now). What an experience!

We were supposed to arrive between 2:30-3 but our driver got us there so fast that we were there well before 2 o'clock. Everyone was happy to greet us but you could tell we threw things in a frenzy by coming so early! So things didn't go anything like I expected. Mark went down to tell the driver how long we would be and I was immediately ushered into the room with the babies. It was so much smaller than I imagined. There were about 3 big cribs with multiple babies and then 6 or 7 smaller cribs with one baby each. Although the conditions appeared bleak, the atmosphere and mood in the room was so happy and peaceful. There were a few ayahs (nannys) in the corner and I figured they had Cole - changing his clothes and brushing his hair super fast. So I focused on all the little ones around me - it was so neat to know most of them through our agency and to be able to love on them and give them the hope that their families are coming soon.

I have to say again that the babies were so content and so very loved. I could have stayed there for hours (which actually we did!) Mark came in and they brought Cole over to us. He looked exactly as I thought he would (thanks to so many pictures we've been given from other families) and he just stared at me with those big eyes. He had on a basketball jersey, pink flower pants and a bib that said "Thank Heaven for Little Girls." :) :)

The ayah handed him to me and before I could get even one snuggle, his lip went out and he wailed so loud! So I handed him back to her and of course he immediately was fine. :) The ayah would point to me and say "Mommy" and to Mark and say "Papa" - it was so meaningful, I can't explain. They seemed as excited as we were to be getting Cole that day. Next she handed him to Mark and he got the same reaction! So she took him back and we decided to take pictures of all the babies while the ayah rocked him to sleep.

I had so much fun taking pictures and talking to the little ones. They were so responsive and so full of personality. Some smiled wide and others cried whenever I looked at them! The ayahs were so helpful and just absolutely adored each child. When we were done I got to hold Cole again since he was sleeping and couldn't protest. The babies' doctor was there and answered all of my questions about him giving us such details as to sleep and diet. Ms. Roy, the director of the children's home came to get us to do paperwork so Cole went back to the ayah. We went to Ms. Roy's office and did more paperwork and she presented us with this sweet handmade book all about Cole from his perspective. I lost control then because the last page had a picture of our family and mentioned that even though he was sad to leave his friends and caregivers that he was more excited to be with his mom, dad, brother & sister. (Hopefully someday that will actually be true - ha!)

After paperwork, I went to another room to see some of the newer babies - all under 4 months old I would say. So tiny but so content. Then it was time to go. It was hard to say goodbye - the ayah who cared for Cole had such a hard time and finally just rushed into the other room. And then there we were going down the steep, gray steps carrying this little boy! He was so stunned that he wasn't crying at this point and then the lull of the car kept him content for most of the ride. We stopped to get his visa pictures which he did not enjoy and then back to the hotel. He then fell asleep on the bed around 4:30 pm. We kept expecting him to wake up and ordered room service but he never did! Slept until after 5 am this morning. Not too many tears today but no smiles either. He took a bottle wonderfully though isn't showing too much interest in anything else. He is asleep again now - poor thing must be so over stimulated that it's easier to escape to his dreams.

We still have a journey ahead of us before we get home and settled. But we have our son and continue to praise our God for this precious gift.

At last...

2009-06-08T04:53:00.000-07:00

More to come...

A Time Warp or Something...

2009-06-07T16:24:00.001-07:00

For some reason, time moves soooo slowly over here. Or maybe it's the jet lag! I laid down to take a "nap" Sunday afternoon and although Mark tried to warn me, I slept until 11 pm. Thus, this post at 4:45 am here in India. I could have posted at 1 am but wasn't ready to admit defeat yet on this sleep stuff. I could just say India has made me a morning person but seriously, not so true. It doesn't help that I keep replaying meeting Cole in my mind - very challenging to unwind from that.

We arrived in Kolkata yesterday around lunchtime. The domestic airport in Delhi was so nice and efficient - not what I was expecting. We were the only Westerners around which was interesting. It was amazing to look at this city from the sky as we got ready to land. Buildings upon buildings as far as the eye could see. The Kolkata airport was okay but intimidating. People everywhere and I'm so thankful we arranged our trip through the travel agency who has taken very good care of us.

The drive to the hotel was such an experience. The people here are so beautiful and I sense this contentedness even though conditions are more than rough. But that is the way it is here and people are proud of their country. This hotel we are at is the nicest I have ever seen. I'm a little uncomfortable with the 5-star treatment. I'm not a 5 star kind of gal so I feel like a dork when they bring me a cool towel for refreshment and wait to the side with a silver platter to take it away. I'm sure they must get a kick out of me and my unrefined ways. :)

We ordered room service and I got pepperoni pizza. I know so many of you are not surprised at that. :) Mark ordered mutton and I did try a bite - not too bad. We are supposed to be at the children's home at 3 but can call earlier to see if we can come before that. I sure hope so - we have such limited time here and I would like as much time for Cole to get to know us as possible before we hop back on another plane.

Not much else to report thus far. We miss Lucy & Nate so much but they seem to be having a terrific time with Grandma at home. Mark is hoping the Lakers game will show here live in a few hours but I'm not so sure. We did watch some of the Yankees/Rays game around 2 am I think. :)

Sorry for the disjointedness of this random post. Next post will have Cole in it, I promise!

Here we are before heading to the airport on Friday. Last picture as family of 4!

Mark at our hotel in Delhi just before we left for Kolkata:

View from our hotel here in Kolkata:

First impressions

2009-06-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

It's about 5 am here and Mark & I are getting ready to head to the airport for our in-country flight. So far we're doing okay with the jet lag and time change - we'll have the rest of today to relax and adjust before we get Cole on Monday!

The travels were such an experience and it was easy to forget why we were going through it all. But there was a sweet Indian family next to us on the plane with an adorable little boy and so I pressed on. :)

The flight from Chicago to Delhi was surreal. I've never flown on one of those huge planes and at first was excited over our own tv's and the chance to see some movies. But our seats were not together and it appeared that the gentleman next to Mark would not be willing to switch. So I almost lost it then. But he did and we were on our way. After a few hours I was so tired and shell-shocked that when they delivered our "meal" I almost cried again. Ewww. But thankfully I was able to somehow sleep on and off for about 6 hours and then the rest of the flight didn't seem so bad. Not trying to be negative about it all - just recording it accurately. :)

It was so interesting in the airport, to be the minority, to not know where to go, to not be able to communicate easily and to not know how to flush the toilet. :) We made it through all the lines and found our driver who was so nice and helpful. We got lost on our way to the hotel and though it was dark, we were able to get our first feel for India.

Much of it I was prepared for - complete ignoring of traffic lanes and all other driving rules, cattle & dogs in the road, children running through the streets. But it was still strange to be in the midst of it and to have such peace as well. I have a newfound respect for people who come to America and bravely face all the changes in culture and custom.

Our hotel here is very nice though different from what you'd expect in the US. I will try to post some pictures when we arrive in Kolkata this afternoon. I've been praying for Cole as this is his last day in the children's home. Our lives are all about to change!

We're here....

2009-06-06T11:36:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post that we made it in one piece with all of our luggage even! We are so tired and have to get up in 5 hours to make our next plane so I won't share much now (still processing a lot of it anyways).

Thanks for your prayers & encouragement!

Getting ready...

2009-06-02T07:37:00.001-07:00

Wow, what a whirlwind the past few days have been. Phone calls, trips to Walmart, packing, more trips to Walmart, phone calls late at night to the embassy, baby shower, summer fun with kids and more. What a whirlwind but what a blessing.

We are scheduled to leave Friday. As in 3 days. Wow.

As excited as I am to get Cole, my heart is torn in the sacrifice it takes in going to get him. I am nervous about flying (the crash the other day does not help), am worried about eating (describing me as a picky eater is being generous), am concerned about all the paperwork (I am not an organized person) and am overwhelmed just by the journey as a whole. And that doesn't begin to include my emotions about picking up Cole, thinking of Lucy & Nate back at home.

Beth Moore addressed this very issue in her blog which my mom sent me this morning. What an answer to prayer. I love this line best:

No matter what sets a woman up to live in fear, it is NOT the will of God for us to give way to vain imaginations and waste our valuable mental energies dreading all sorts of things that may – but probably won’t ever – happen. And, if they do, we’ll have the grace to handle them at the time but we don’t get the grace in advance to cover our fear and dread.

She then goes on to quote Psalm 112:1-8 and you better believe these are verses I am writing down and taking with me.

I have never felt God's favor so steadily as I have throughout this process and so I will rest in His will, whatever that may be. As always, may He be honored through it all!

We're coming, Cole!

2009-05-28T05:43:00.000-07:00

Got the most wonderful news this morning - Cole's passport is ready! We are going to India! Waiting to hear from the embassy regarding our scheduled appointment but then we can book our plane tickets and GO!

To God be the glory. After the cyclone, Tami let me know to expect the passport to be delayed at least a few days. (We had been expecting it this week.) We were continuing to trust God for His timing and could already see His hand at work since we originally hoped to be going this week and now see how awful that would have been with the aftermath of the storm. Mark had already pushed everything back at work and was beginning to get concerned about how to reschedule all those meetings yet again if the passport was delayed. I just began praying and specifically asked God for it to come this week. Yesterday I specifically asked for it to come Thursday. And sure enough, the most wonderful call this morning from Tami asking us if we're ready to go! Praise God for His faithfulness, goodness and willingness to act on our behalf!

Birthday Fun

2009-05-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

We had so much fun celebrating Nate's 2nd birthday over a long weekend! Saturday we went to the Museum of Transportation which is a perfect outing for a boy of any age. :) We also went out to eat for Nate's birthday and since he is too young to pick his favorite restaurant, I picked for him! Sunday we enjoyed church and time to play outside (during one of the breaks from the rain). Monday we spent time at the park for our annual church picnic and then came home to have birthday dinner, cake and presents! (I know the Incredible Hulk is highly inappropriate for a 2 year old but it was one of the first things he imitated Mark on. "Hulk Smash - grrrr!"
Here are some pics!

My cup overflows!

2009-05-23T21:05:00.001-07:00

More pictures of our sweet boy! It's amazing how different he looks yet again. Thanks to Greg & Colleen for these wonderful photos. I can't help but smile when I think it's my turn next to hold this boy! Soon, soon, soon!!!

Here are the comments Colleen had to say about him:

He was very observant and watched everything going on. The other two babies in the crib were very loud (in a happy way though) and reaching for the camera, he sat back and watched them before deciding to look up at us and smile (I don't think we caught it on video or picture though). I picked him up and gave him a little hug from you (but the sudden motion seemed to startle him a little so I put him back down quickly- didn't want to make him cry!). I told him his Mama is coming soon. He looked well and happy and like he liked his little cribmates. The ayahs were able to get him to look and hopefully we got some good pics. He is definitely the observant, watchful type of baby (or at least he was for the 30 or so minutes we were in there). The ayahs clearly loved him and knew him well.

Will he fit right into our family or what???? Both Lucy & Nate are the observant, watchful type as well. The Lord works in wonderful ways!

We are spending the holiday weekend celebrating Nate's birthday which is on Monday. Pictures of my other favorite little boy to come soon!

CF Walk

2009-05-20T11:28:00.001-07:00

Last Saturday we got to participate in the Great Strides walk supporting and raising money for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. It was such an amazing experience to be surrounded by so many people affected by this disease. We were there to support Matteo, Lucy's sweet friend from church. His family is near & dear to our hearts and it was such a privilege to be there along side of them. Every dollar we raised goes to research in finding a cure. Progress is made every year with this disease but it currently still projects a life span of only 37 years old. We look forward to attending again year after year until the cure is found! Here's a picture of all the kiddos part of "Matteo's Mob":

11 months old and pictures too!

2009-05-14T11:58:00.000-07:00

Cole is 11 months old today. I am praying that next month, on this day, he will be here with us! We're still hoping to go the first or second week in June but can not make any arrangements until that passport comes!

We got a copy of our guardianship/legals this morning and I was so humbled and feel so strange about it all. To see my husband's name and our address on this official Indian document saying Cole belongs to us! To see information about Cole's mom & dad, and to wonder about them. I opened the email in a rush this morning and that was a huge mistake. We had to get out the door and I got so emotional. I am so thankful this part of it all will be over soon!

We also got a ton of adorable pictures - thank you Amy & Clint!!! These are some of our best yet - seeing him standing and with some of his friends. Won't he just treasure these forever?

Hello Sunny Weather

2009-05-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

It finally stopped raining enough for us to get to the park! We had some cold weeks in April so we're so happy spring is finally here to stay!

Also, I couldn't help but record this silly boy singing his heart out. Watch out American Idol!

Signature...check!

2009-05-06T15:11:00.000-07:00

The judge signed our guardianship yesterday! Now to pray for that passport which has proved rather elusive for some families. We really have an ideal small window to travel in early June relating to Mark's job and so I'm hoping God will choose to arrange things just so. It is a time to trust, yet again!

I know many people have been following the Compassion International bloggers as they were in Calcutta last week. I read a few entries and everytime, immediately thought of all the birthmoms out there who chose to give their babies up. Those women (and men, too) who first chose life for their babies and second, chose hope for them. I can't imagine living in those circumstances but wonder if I did, would I be brave enough to give up my child? Would I be selfless enough?

Cole's birthmom will never know who we are or what happened to her son born almost a year ago. She'll never know how eagerly we have waited for him. How excited we have been to see a new picture, to anticipate holding him in our arms. She won't know how many people have been praying for this little boy they have never met. But I hope, even in her unawareness, that she has peace knowing her choices would lead to his good. I hope she has comfort in her actions to give him more than she could offer. It is a humbling privilege to pray for her.

Giveaway

2009-05-02T21:10:00.000-07:00

I don't say it enough but I am so blessed to be able to stay home right now with our kiddos. It is now our goal to keep me home even as our kids get older through Arbonne. I am doing a big push right now since I'll obviously be preoccupied in just a little while with my new sweet boy coming home. :) I'm thankful to have a job with this kind of flexibility where I can always put my family first.

There is a giveway here where you can enter to win the Awaken Body Mist (which is also a natural bug repellant - just in time for summer) plus $30 in free products! Good Luck!

Case Approved!!!!

2009-05-01T07:23:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to tell y'all that our case was approved!

I am in shock because I was really preparing myself for it not to happen, especially during our first court appearance. When I was first told of our court date, I waivered between telling people or keeping it to ourselves. My nature is to do the latter but I really felt God leading me to involve others, to ask for prayers, and to let everyone experience this with us.

So I did and as a result, grew so close to my God this past month. Trusting Him for His will, preparing to give Him glory no matter what happened, watching in awe and humility as He encouraged me again and again through friends & family praying for us and for Cole.

So what's next? As much as I'd love to say we were getting on a plane tomorrow, we wait for the judge's signature, Cole's passport & our travel visas. If all goes smoothly, we'd love to be able to leave May 30th and have Cole in our arms in plenty of time for his first birthday!!

Thank you again to everyone who has encouraged us and prayed for us. And thanks to God, the powerful almighty Creator of the universe who loves us so intimately to work on our behalf for His glory.

Joy!

2009-04-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

I can not tell you how excited I was to get these pictures today. They are from earlier in the month but it is so great to see him looking awake and healthy! Thank you to the family that took them for us!

Raising money, Spending money

2009-04-19T19:41:00.000-07:00

We held a fundraiser this weekend by hosting a Gold Party. It's such a neat concept though somewhat unknown. People bring their unwanted gold, silver and platinum and get cash for it on the spot. For hosting, we get 20% (normally 10% if not a fundraiser) of the total money given out. We just had two sweet friends come and show their support but we are excited to use the money we earned plus that given to us by a few other friends to help meet some needs of the orphans in India.

As for spending, get to a Kmart this week because they are having double and triple coupons. I went tonight and saved around $50. I got all this for $34.60 (would have been over $80). You can click the button, STL Mommy, to the right to see all the ways to save big! I can't wait to go back again later in the week when they hopefully restock their shelves. :)

Happy Easter

2009-04-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

We hope everyone has a blessed Easter weekend. He is risen!

This is it!

2009-04-09T06:26:00.000-07:00

The Article 5 came through - already! I can't tell you how relieved (and surprised) at how smoothly everything has gone so far. Now the challenging wait for that last step - guardianship.
We also got new pictures today. All I can say is that he needs to be home...

Getting Closer!

2009-04-07T10:15:00.000-07:00

Found out today that our case has gone through the scrutinization process in the courts! Under the new 800 system, we have to have an Article 5 document issued before we can be given guardianship. Hopefully that will come soon and then the wait for the elusive judge's signature will begin!

Back to reality

2009-04-04T19:34:00.000-07:00

We are back from Disney and adjusting to real life again (laundry, grocery, flooded basement, blah blah blah). We had such a wonderful time - I could stay there forever, it's so magical. Here are a few pictures.

Staying Busy

2009-03-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

We are so excited that our case is now in the India courts awaiting scrutinization and then guardianship. We're trying not to get our hopes up too high about potential travel dates since this new 800 process is still so unknown but with the arrival of spring weather and news of things moving along, we can't help but feel hopefully cautious. :)

The kids and I spent last week in Texas with my family, celebrating my grandad's life and just enjoying time together. We soaked up every minute of the warm weather and wonderful time with family.

Lucy especially loved seeing all her cousins.

This is where Nate was happiest - in Pops' arms.

My "Cole" shelf in the hall closet is becoming more and more full! My aunt blessed us with this amazing handmade quilt for him along with a sweet horse stuffed animal.

Here is Cole's backpack for church and other outings from Aunt Michelle. Nate has a matching one that is a monkey.

Cole's lovey blanket - can't wait to see him clutching it in his little hand.

And finally, I've taken advantage of amazing shopping deals lately and got a few packs of diapers and lots of wipes for free or close to it. Today, I got all of this for 27 CENTS (would have been around $30).

Thankfully, our calendar is filling up with fun trips and visits which are sure to make the time fly! Disney is next in just 5 days!

Saying goodbye...

2009-03-11T20:54:00.001-07:00

This picture was taken the last time I saw my Grandad in December. He passed away on Saturday at the age of 93. It was not a huge surprise but no matter how you mentally prepare yourself, the news of a loved one's death still is a sharp blow, making a deep wound.
As we are making plans to return to Texas to be with family, to attend his funeral, and to help my parents, I am hit with waves of emotion. (Not hard to imagine if you know me at all - I am a big crybaby regardless.)
I found great truth tonight reading 1 Corinthians 15 regarding the power of Christ's own resurrection and the promise of ours one day as believers. If we believe this to be true, we are movtivated to "stop sinning" (vs 34) and to look forward to the day when we can say "O Death, where is your victory? O Death, where is your sting?" (vs 55).
Thankfully, I live with the hope (and 100% reality) of heaven but I also live each day serving my God who gives me this hope. Without this hope, what would be the point? Verse 19 says it well: "If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied."
So to respond to the passing of this well-loved man, I look to my God, step out in service for His glory and rejoice in the hope of a someday glorious reunion.

800 on its way

2009-03-03T16:58:00.001-08:00

We got word today that our 800 application was sent via FedEx so for those of you following the new 800A/800 process let the timeline officially begin! It was also very neat to see our NOC - his name by ours...

We moved Nate into his twin bed this weekend and he has done great! I wanted to make sure he didn't get out of bed when he woke up from nap or in the morning and so far, so good! The first nap I must have put him back in bed at least 10 to 15 times though. Now he waits in it patiently for up to 20-30 minutes while I drag my feet in the morning to go get him. I can't believe it was so easy! I was thinking he would need weeks to get adjusted before Cole came. Here is the proud boy on the bed from Grandma & Grandpa and the wonderful quilt made by my mom!

In other news, we are so excited and so blessed to say we are going to Disneyworld in 3 weeks! It is my most favorite place ever (we went once 3 years ago) and I would choose to go there over any other place in the world. Mark's parents are blessing us and we are so thankful for the opportunity to have a vacation and a break from the waiting and the winter. :)

Well, I will keep you posted on our 800 progress. It will be nice to take another step closer to our sweetie.

When do we go?

2009-02-26T14:44:00.000-08:00

I've had this question asked a thousand times this week and thankfully, Tami at Dillon sent me this website which clearly lists the steps under the new 800A/800 process. We are on Step 3 of 7 which is a lot better to say rather than shrugging my shoulders and saying "I don't know"!

Hooray!

2009-02-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

We got news today that we have received NOC (No objection Certificate)! We are under the new 800A/800 process so things are different from other Dillon families. Basically, our file has to be put on the shelf and not be sent to the Kolkata courts until after our 800 form has been received and processed. We can not have guardianship until that is all approved.

It's kind of frustrating that our case has to be held and not submitted to the courts when we know from other families' experiences that that part of the process can be quite lengthy and unpredictable but we trust God's timing in all things!

Sweet faces

2009-02-19T18:49:00.000-08:00

Can't wait for them to all be in a picture together...

You've Got Mail

2009-02-13T11:43:00.001-08:00

Many of you Dillon adoptive families out there understand what I mean when I say my heart skips when I open my email and see one from Tami, our director. It happened again today and although it was not the news that we had received NOC, there was a sweet new picture of our little guy. Totally unexpected but such a blessing, especially to see him sitting up somewhat!

We have been waiting on NOC for 6 weeks now and it has been 14 weeks since we first got the call. We were studying Mary this week in Bible study and the biggest thing I learned from her was her willingness to serve the Lord no matter the consequence. She made a choice to obey Him and a choice about her attitude in the process. Following her example, I am willing to wait on God, trust His plan to grow our family through adoption no matter how long it takes or what trials we endure to make it happen. He will provide, He will answer, He is good.

Thankful

2009-02-05T08:08:00.001-08:00

Wow, what a week. It's been hard around here as I've been battling my selfishness in every area of my life. We've had some big disappointments and sad news and cancelled vacations.

This morning I dropped Lucy off at school and was in the parking lot ready to go to MOPS with Nate when he threw up all over himself before we even got out of the car. So I put the car in reverse and home we are. The car seat cover, jacket, clothes are in the washing machine, Barney is on the television, Nate is snuggled on the couch with water (he will not be having watermelon yogurt for a looooong time) and I opened my email to find....

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me when I do NOT deserve it. Seeing my boy in these valentine jammies makes me smile. And that's just what I needed! (And thanks to Anjali & family for taking these sweet pictures!)

Randomness

2009-01-23T13:05:00.000-08:00

Some random things going on:

I have been following the Money Saving Mom blog for a few months now and had a great experience recently. I never thought to shop at Walgreens or CVS (we don't have one yet but our first store is being built just down the road) but thanks to her blog and others like it, I am beating the system!

For example, last week I got diapers, two boxes of toothpaste and deodorant for $10. The diapers alone were $9.99 so the rest was free! This is all from clipping coupons and watching weekly ads! We now have a wealth of toothpaste and deodorant (among other items) in our storage closet and didn't pay a penny for them! And we know that in today's economy, saving money is a huge benefit!

My in-laws were gracious enough to purchase matching beds for Nate & Cole and they arrived yesterday! Cole's bed will be stored since he'll start out in the crib but Nate's is up in their room. It is amazing to go in there now and see two beds for two boys! My mom is making baseball quilts for their beds so I will post pictures when it's all set up. (No pressure, Mom!)

I finally finished all my sewing orders and can now do things for Cole. Today I finished his lovey blanket and am going to start on a pillow for his bed. I am also making Lucy & Nate "Big Sister" & "Big Brother" t-shirts. It sure helps the time go by and we are hoping to receive our NOC soon!

Things with Arbonne are really going great. I started in late September and feel more determined and inspired even now. It has been such a blessing to see other families' benefit from the healthy products as well as earn income to help out in meager times.

Mark has been working a ton of hours (64 a week!) but is hopeful that by March he can at least stay home on Saturdays with us again. It's been rough for all of us but I can happily say we are trusting God and thankful that Mark still has a job and is gaining a lot of experience in the process. Needless to say, Sundays are our favorite day of the week since we all get to be together!

Mark also has started a biblical counseling ministry at our church on Wednesday nights. I'm so thankful to see God use him in this way and to provide solid, biblical truths to those who are in need.

I'm getting antsy for spring and should know better since this is my second St. Louis winter. I am really trying to stay content in our circumstances although I'd love to be wearing short sleeves and to see the sun shine! All in God's timing though!

Meanwhile, I can not express how blessed I feel. My heart, of course, aches for Cole, but I truly feel like the prayers of our friends & family are granting us such peace during this time. I know, we haven't even been waiting that long and haven't had major disappointments yet (I'm sure we will) but for now, I am going to latch on to these truths and thank the Lord!

Powerful Video

2009-01-21T07:23:00.001-08:00

A Prayer for the President

2009-01-20T07:47:00.001-08:00

It's not a secret I didn't vote for Obama. I vote on the issue of life, and he & I fervently disagree on that. I support and respect the office of President, no matter who it is. I'm thrilled with the historical breakthrough of the moment and understand what significance this day holds.

I found this prayer on Al Mohler's blog and thought it was excellent. The paragraphs in bold are something I'll continue to pray again and again. And as always, may God receive the glory. Only He is worthy. No man is righteous, not one.

Our Father, Lord of all creation, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ: We pray today with a sense of special urgency and responsibility. We come before you to pray for our new President, Barack Obama, and for all those in this new administration who now assume roles of such high responsibility.

We know that you and you alone are sovereign; that you rule over all, and that you alone are able to keep and defend us. We know that our times are in your hands, and that "the king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord" [Proverbs 21:1]. Our confidence is in you and in you alone. We come before you as a people who acknowledge our constant need for your provision, wisdom, and protection.

Father, we pray today for Barack Obama as he takes office as President of the United States. We pray that you will show the glory of your name in our times and in these days, confounding the wisdom of the wise, thwarting the plans of the arrogant, and vindicating those who do justice and practice righteousness.

Father, we pray with thanksgiving for the gift of government and the grace of civic order. Thank you for giving us rulers and for knowing our need for laws and ordered life together. Thank you for this nation and the blessings we know as its citizens. Thank you for freedoms unprecedented in human history. We understand that these freedoms come with unprecedented opportunities.

Lord, we pray with thanksgiving for the joy and celebration reflected on millions of faces who never expected to look to the President of the United States and see a person who looks like themselves. Father, thank you for preserving this nation to the moment when an African-American citizen will take the oath of office and become our President. Thank you for the hope this has given to so many, the pride emerging in hearts that had known no such hope, and the pride that comes to a people who have experienced such pain at the hands of fellow citizens, simply because of the color of their skin. Father, we rejoice in every elderly face that reflects such long-sought satisfaction and in every young face that expresses such unrestrained joy. May this become an open door for a vision of race and human dignity that reflects your glory in our differences, and not our corruption of your gift.

Father, protect this president, we pray. We pray that you will surround this president and his family, along with all our leaders, with your protection and sustenance. May he be protected from evil acts and evil intentions, and may his family be protected from all evil and harm.

We pray that the Obama family will be drawn together as they move into the White House, and that they will know great joy in their family life. We are thankful for the example Barack and Michelle Obama have set as parents. Father, protect those precious girls in every way -- including the protection of their hearts as they see their father often criticized and as he is away from them on business of state. May their years in the White House bring them all even closer together.

Father, we pray for the safety and security of this nation, even as our new president settles into his role as Commander in Chief. We know that you and you alone can be our defense. We do not place our trust in horses or chariots, and we pray that you will give this president wisdom as he fulfills this vital responsibility.

Father, grant him wisdom in every dimension of his vast responsibility. Grant him wisdom to deal with a global financial crisis and with the swirling complex of vexing problems and challenges at home and abroad. May he inspire this nation to a higher vision for our common life together, to a higher standard of justice, righteousness, unity, and the tasks of citizenship.

Father, we pray that you will change this president's heart and mind on issues of urgent concern. We are so thankful for his gifts and talents, for his intellect and power of influence. Father, bend his heart to see the dignity and sanctity of every single human life, from the moment of conception until natural death. Father, lead him to see abortion, not as a matter of misconstrued rights, but as a murderous violation of the right to life. May he come to see every aborted life as a violation of human dignity and every abortion as an abhorrent blight upon this nation's moral witness. May he pledge himself to protect every human life at every stage of development. He has declared himself as an energetic defender of abortion rights, and we fear that his election will lead directly to the deaths of countless unborn human beings. Protect us from this unspeakable evil, we pray. Most urgently, we pray that you will bring the reign of abortion to an end, even as you are the defender of the defenseless.

Father, may this new president see that human dignity is undermined when human embryos are destroyed in the name of medical progress, and may he see marriage as an institution that is vital to the very survival of civilization. May he protect all that is right and good. Father, change his heart where it must be changed, and give him resolve where his heart is right before you.

Father, when we face hard days ahead -- when we find ourselves required by conscience to oppose this president within the bounds of our roles as citizens -- may we be granted your guidance to do so with a proper spirit, with a proper demeanor, and with persuasive arguments. May we learn anew how to confront without demonizing, and to oppose without abandoning hope.

Father, we are aware that our future is in your hands, and we are fully aware that you and you alone will judge the nations. Much responsibility is now invested in President Barack Obama, and much will be required. May we, as Christian citizens, also fulfill what you would require of us. Even as we pray for you to protect this president and change his heart, we also pray that your church will be protected and that you will conform our hearts to your perfect will.

Father, we pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, the ever-reigning once and future King, the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. He and he alone can save, and his kingdom is forever. Above all, may your great name be praised. Amen.

Today

2009-01-14T06:27:00.000-08:00

Cole is 7 months old! So much closer to one and hopefully that much closer to joining our family! I had my first dream about going to pick him up (well the first one I remember the next day anyways) and I have had to battle hard not to let the pity party overtake me. (Many of my friends here had babies last summer so I am reminded often of what I am missing!) God's timing is best and I trust Him to watch over and protect Cole in the meantime.

I'm privileged to spend this day praying for a little girl I've never met, a family I will probably never know. But I believe in the power of prayer and so do they. Will you join us?

Pray for Abby.