Thanks for all your encouraging comments and emails. I feel a little silly for being so dramatic and woe-is-me but as I said, I write to get it out of my system. After several days to let everything sink in, to do research and to have a break (Mark's parents came for the weekend), I am looking at things with a wider angle, gaining perspective.
The fact is there are simple things we can do to change our routine and help Cole and in the big picture of life, those things are not that big a deal. I think so much of my problem was my misguided expectations of what adoption would look like in my family and how I thought things would be as time went on. I don't know if there was training or awareness for sensory issues before we brought Cole home, but even if there were, I'm sure I would have tuned it out, assuming it wouldn't be an issue for us.
I confess I have been a hypocrite for many months, advocating adoption, working hard to change attitudes about orphan awareness, and not living it out in my own home, my own family, with my own adopted child.
I was listening to the song below yesterday (the same song we used in our initial Orphan Care video at church last spring) and felt as though the first verse was not some generic orphan out there looking for a family, but my own child, Cole, asking me if I was willing to love him the way he is, even if that wouldn't change in the future. Begging forgiveness from the Lord, I hope now He can use me more effectively for His kingdom work in this area. I apologize to anyone I have misled or deceived up to this point.
3 comments:
I totally feel your frustrations! I was just re-reading some adoption reading to scope out strategies for coping with our suddenly very rebellious and challenging toddler. I have been most upset and surprised how little patience I have, but was comforted a little bit to be reminded that attachment is a roller coaster and years long process. Didn't find any specific strategies for a child who laughs at you when you discipline her and has taken to trying to head butt you if she doesn't like what you say. Arrgh!! Anyway, hang in there and you're not alone!
I second that what Colleen said,Maiya laughs at me when I say no and slap her hand,UGH!! Maybe I need to put a little pep into it, Gidget
Glad things are looking up for you,hang in there.
We can all by hypocrites sometimes...:(
Wow! I find so much encouragement and comfort from this post and comments. I was sure I had the only child that smiled at me during discipline (& by most accounts I'm no softy). Hmmm . . what will the Lord do with all these little fiery spirited children? I pray we all make it through to see it. :) My thanks to all of you to know that I'm not alone! I cont't to pray for you, Sara. - Traci G.
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